Are you leading someone on? And if so, why do you do it? You know the moves…whether subconsciously or directly, you know what to wear and how to act to capture somebody’s attention. With a little combative word-play, he or she is putty in your hands, and you like it that way. You enjoy teasing just enough to capture notice even when you know that person doesn’t stand a chance with you. While you are clearly not required to give into everyone who finds you appealing, the way you treat love as a game can come across as merciless. Recognize why you crave the attention so much and just what you are really missing out on by not giving love a fair chance to play.
Despite outward appearances, your confidence is likely a mask for what you truly feel. After all, attempting to “fake it till you make it” has worked in other scenarios, so you think it might help you with this aspect of your life as well. However, if you begin to feel claustrophobic and restless once you’ve captured that sexy someone’s eye, there is more depth to your story than you’re willing to read into. Have you considered what will happen (if it hasn’t already) when you find someone you’re truly interested in, but you still play the same mind-games with him or her? Eventually, that person will move on once he or she has grown tired of trying to keep up with you. Even though you treated them like a toy to be played with at your convenience, you will be left feeling disappointed and frustrated because you’ve lost someone you might truly care about.
You may not be willing to admit it, but self-doubt probably creeps in more than a time or two despite your flippant behavior. Truth is, when anyone craves an over-abundance of attention, it is to feel reassurance of being wanted. Covering up insecurities simply isn’t dealing with them and a semi-permanent fix still leaves you feeling unsatisfied. Instead, figure out what is causing you to feel unfulfilled, whether it be a desperate need not to feel alone or if it is a complex desire to figure out what you want even if you haven’t the faintest clue what that is. You may be afraid to give of yourself in a relationship, and that fear can cause you to move on quickly when things progress. However, this self-absorption will leave you deprived because it keeps you from the actual chance of finding happiness.
It will be hard to give up your natural instinct to pull someone in and then flee at the first sign of commitment, but a new tactic of exploring a relationship to discover its’ true worth might be of more value than you can currently recognize. It isn’t necessary to give up your devices of attraction, but use them wisely on people you might actually get along with so as to give them a fighting chance for your time and affection. Then, keep your attentions on whoever is leading in the race for your heart, and resist the urge to push them away because of self-doubt. Recognize what you are afraid of before letting someone go. When you call yourself out on your fears, you can truly decide if this person is right for you or not. And if they are, allow yourself the opportunity to experience the benefits of a real relationship. You will finally be able to open the door to someone who encourages you to do the things you love and even help you to become a better person.
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