"Are YOU a big, fat liar?"
Let's say you walk into a bar hoping to meet a woman. Go figure. (I am sure this is
a rarity for most men, but just go along with me anyways, ok? )
If you are one that considers yourself attractive and a damn good catch, then your main focus would be on what the women in the bar look like (physically). If you consider yourself to be unattractive, then you are more concerned with how you appear to women.
Your focus shifts depending upon your level of confidence. When a person has confidence in his words, he's more interested in you understanding him and less interested in how he appears to you (which probably explains why you see great looking women with guys who have no looks, no job and commute via skateboard).
We can see examples of this in everyday life.
When you're interested simply in making a point, you want to make sure the other person understands you. When you're deceitful or trying to cover up something and resort to being a big, fat liar, your focus is on how you sound and appear as you're relating the so-called "facts." You're conscious of your every word and movement.
Stories that are made up rarely include any negative details. Ask a friend to tell you about her last vacation. Even if it was a raunchy Vegas trip, she'll cover all of the bases, both positive and negative.
Now, ask her to make up a story about a vacation that she never went on. You'll notice that the elements are usually all positive.
When a liar is being accused, he will remain fairly expressionless. The liar is more concerned with how he is going to respond than he is with the accusation itself. Asking a person, "Have you been cheating on me you bastard? " will put anybody on the defensive so ...uh, so don't do that. Ahem.
Instead, ask the question that does not accuse the person, but alludes to the person's possible rancid behavior. If he doesn't realize that you're implying anything, then he's most likely NOT guilty. But if he gets defensive, then he knows what you're getting at and he will continue to talk his way out of it ....(you do remember the OJ trial, right?)
For example: If you suspect that your girlfriend is drinking on the job and spends a lot of time in bathroom stalls (men's bathrooms) then ask it like this:
“Hey there my little "sushi roll" (Cheerio girl, sweetie pie, honey or "Love worm" will also suffice).... I'd like to get your advice on something.... My buddy Carlos has a problem and is deeply worried about his girlfriend...he feels that she may be severely tarnishing her reputation on many levels at work.
According to him, it is becoming obvious due to the fact that she has several chipped teeth, smells like a moonshine farm and is usually bruised on both knees. Do you have any suggestions on how Carlos might be able to approach her about this?"
Again, if your girlfriend is guilty, then she will instantly become very uncomfortable. If she's not guilty, then she will be pleased that you sought her advice.
Until next time...
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Words to ponder:
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