Adjusting to middle school for can be stressful for kids and parents. However, parents and middle schoolers may feel that they (the children) are old enough to successfully manage a new school, a new schedule, physical and emotional changes, new friends etc. –all on their own.
As much as we would like to step back, Robert N. Walrond, in his book Every Parent’s Guide to Middle School Success offers these suggestions to help your child adjust to and succeed in middle school.
- Continue to provide guidance to your child.
While your child may say “I know what I’m doing.” and “leave me alone.” they still need help. Physical, social, emotional and academic changes can overwhelm kids middle school. Even if your child doesn’t want to admit it, she appreciates the guidance and support you offer.
- Attend Back-to-School Nights, parent-teacher conferences, and regularly check the school’s website.
You’ll learn about volunteer opportunities, school activities, and mostly importantly about resources available at the school if your child is struggling.
- Pay attention to your child’s behavior and emotions.
Does your child have a positive outlook on life, or is depressed or withdrawn? If your child is experiencing negative emotions, the school’s guidance counselor or your pediatrician can connect you with support services.
- Stay informed about issues that may be affecting your child
Children want and need to talk but won’t. Casually bringing up a topic and asking your child opinion about it, is an easy way to start a conversation.
(I once asked my teenager about the “everything but…” teen sexual activity that I’d heard about on Dr. Phil. As much as I didn’t want to hear the answer, I'm glad I asked. His answer was illuminating to say the least.)
- Regularly communicate with your middle school student.
Communicating regularly with your pre-teen, will make it easier to speak him or her about the tougher teen issues. Communicating with a pre-teen can be awkward, but it’s easier than trying to open “new channels of communication” with a teen.
As a final note, here are some suggestions provided by my now-adult son on how my husband and I could have better parented him.
- Follow through on consequences.
- Make kids earn their cell phone, cars, etc. Get the kids to do the behavior you want, then give them the reward - not the other way around.
- Make them accountable. Let them accept the consequence of their behavior. Stop rescuing them from their bad decisions.
