We have all went through a less than perfect breakup at one time or another in our lives. However, one thing we all have in common is the inability to control our emotions and thoughts fully afterwards. I have written these tips to (hopefully) help you cope and move on effectively into your new single life and future budding relationship. Enjoy!
10. Get rid of everything that reminds you of them.
This includes pictures, cute little midday emails you saved, voice notes, videos, texts, clothing, every single thing that reeks of him/her. If it's jewelry, you can pawn it or determine its value to your future life with your ex.
9. Do not go to old hangouts.
So she likes the local bar that has the absolute best drinks in town? Get over it and go find another hang out spot. Period.
8. Redirect your thoughts.
When you find yourself thinking about your ex, redirect your thoughts immediately to think about something you could be doing to make yourself more productive.
9. Indulge yourself in a new hobby or interest.
If you have ever thought about taking up an art class or learning a new dance move or simply trying a new restaurant, here's the time to do it. You will inevitably start to find yourself in new and exciting things and learn that you can have tons of fun by yourself.
7. Clean/Rearrange something.
There is no better time to start cleaning and getting rid of some things in your life than after a breakup. If there isn't any cleaning that needs to be done, then rearrange your bedroom or home. Paint a wall, hang a picture, new drapes, anything.
One of the best things to do when you are getting over someone is to pray or meditate. It allows you to put your trust in a higher being to help work through your emotional distress. If you prefer meditation, this technique allows you to connect with your inner-self and control your thoughts and relax. Also, this may be weird but you can even pray for your ex's well-being, which over time, can help to relieve any hostility or animosity you may have had towards them.
Let. It. Out! We all tend to overlook the power of a good old fashioned cry. Crying is actually beneficial in a way that it helps us to purge our feelings in a physical release. However, limit your crying to a week after the breakup and then stop feeling sorry for yourself and listening to weepy songs that evoke emotion unless it's Diana Ross' "I Will Survive".
4. Talk it out.
Talking to a trusted friend or a rotating group of friends, can help you clear your mind and offer insight on things you may have overlooked and possibly help you in a future relationship. Also, it's nice to just vent.
For those of you who are private, you may prefer to write and vent things on paper. The good thing is you can vent through sketching, poetry, short stories or merely writing down random words in a journal or notebook.
2. Cease all contact.
At least cease all contact for 30 consecutive days, not an accumulation of 30 days, not 30 business days but 30 consecutive days! Now if this person was a complete jerk to you or was abusive in any way, cease all contact period and seek help, if necessary.
In the book 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, he states you should always be forward-thinking and only use the past as a way to strategize for future manuevers. Breakups can be used in the same manner and by taking the same approach. Instead of beating yourself down and recounting all of the things you could've done differently with your ex, use those thoughts in positive ways to be maintain a future relationship. Ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom!