Lately many relationships have been affected by cheating and as the situation appears this problem isn’t getting better anytime soon. It is a serious social problem that no straight thinking person can appreciate , ignore or wish away . Are you strongly feeling that your spouse is distracted and their heart isn’t fully with you? Many people in a relationship become suspicious and start thinking this way when a certain average and expected trend of behavior suddenly changes in their spouse. They may suddenly start coming home late with excuses like overtime hours that never reflect on their paycheck. Some suddenly start shying off from intimacy and blame the long hours spend out on emergency work related meetings. When you find yourself in such a situation, it is advisable to remain sober and approach the situation calmly and rationally.
First stop in your tracks and take time to think.
Usually the most natural reaction to anyone who suspects their spouse is revenge. This may however not be wisest thing to do especially if you still want to keep the relationship. The best option would be to take your time and soberly re evaluate your relationship with a prime goal of finding out what exactly caused your friend to stray if it indeed is true that they are cheating on you.
Create open lines of communication.
Suspicions and fears of being cheated can be a haunting nightmare to anyone in a relationship and so the best way to save yourself from a psychological or emotional breakdown is to try and create a proper environment for your spouse to shed more light on their questionable conduct. Cheaters may attempt to frustrate your efforts to get them talk (due to guilt) but a steady and courageous effort will finally pin them down and make them confess.
Take time to decide how you will handle the results or any shocking confessions from your spouse.
Be prepared well in advance on what direction you will take in case your suspicions are true. You can do this by being ready to forgive and remain in the relationship or call it a day and quit.
Don’t plan to revenge.
When one feels betrayed in such an emotional setting, the most natural wish is for them to hit back at their spouse and make hurt in the same way. One feels that may be if their spouse is made to go through a similar experience, they’ll feel the pain and come back to their senses. Far from that, revenge can only worsen or complicate the situation. It may give you momentary relief but the guilt of subjecting your friend (the cheater) through a similar experience may catch up with you.
You can forgive them and move on.
Genuine forgiveness is easier said than done since the hurt resulting from betrayal usually runs deep. Forgiveness in such matters is highly recommended since it benefits the person who has forgiven more than the offender and allows the wounds to heal fast. Those who fail to forgive store up many negative emotions that are likely to ruin their physical, emotional and psychological life. Forgiving and moving on simply shows the cheater that you have overcome and are even far better off without them in your life.
Seek to understand why your spouse is being unfaithful.
Some people cheat because they are unhappy, feel abused or neglected. Such an understanding is crucial since after a thorough investigation you may be shocked to find that you are part of the reason why your spouse is straying from the relationship.
Subject the alibis to test.
If your spouse claims they are working overtime, prepare and appear in their office with a romantic sumptuous dinner just for the two of you. This will at best reward his hard work and at worst confirm your fears
You can also seek professional assistance to fix problems in your relationship. Anytime you feel disconnected with your friend, it is important to rush for assistance regardless of whether there is unfaithfulness or not. A trained relationship expert would be most useful in such instances because they’ll help you determine whether problems in your relationship are real or simply based on petty thinking and over reactions. You can also join and get additional help from a support group.