You know who they are; the pals who constantly deal with one crisis or another. And that means you have to drop everything and listen to their latest escapades. And usually you do...and that's why they seek you out, 24/7. But at the same time, if you approach them with even the most minute problem, they look at you like you have just asked them to help you paint your house from the inside out.
So, here you are, being penalized for being a good listener! And to boot, this friendship is no two way street. In fact, it is as one way as they come. So what do you do, try and change your friend? Hardly. That never works. People who suck up your time will continue to do so, unless you change things drastically. And that's what you have to do.
Change the parameters of this friendship. Realize that he/she isn't going to change, so you will have to. Put time limits on your conversations. When you pick up the phone, say something like, "Hey, it's great to hear from you, but I have like only 10 minutes to talk, so go ahead." And then, when the 10 minutes is up, you have to get off the phone (no exceptions.) Because if you don't, they will say, "Wait, just one more thing..." Don't let that happen! Get off that phone, even if it means you have to say "bye" and hang up.
Also, don't be at their beckon call. Take your time to return texts and calls. And whatever you do, don't try to lean on them when you have a problem. You will only be disappointed. Remember, this never going to be a deep friendship. But at least this person will not be able to suck the life out of you anymore!















Comments