"Mom, why does he walk like that?"
"Dad, why is she using a stick?"
"Gran, why aren't they talking like us?"
Chances are good that if you are out in the real world with your children, one of them will point at a stranger and ask one of these questions as loudly as possible. In addition, the person at whom your child is pointing may not be in a mood to answer your child's question for you. So what do you do when Buddy or Princess decides it's time to start asking questions about people with disabilities? Here are some sure ways to make sure they will be bigots. Unfortunately, all of them come from experience.
Scream and run
Grab your kids like a rabid Doberman was after them. Carry them as far away from the disabled person as possible. Tell your children the disabled person has something "catching." Tell them they are being punished for doing something bad. Tell them anything but the truth, which is that people with disabilities are people, period. And run away quickly before the person with disabilities can speak or your children will figure out you are ignorant and delusional.
Talk as if the disabled person is not there
Explain to your kids, not in your indoor voice, that the person who is disabled has something "wrong" with him or her, and that they have to use a wheelchair or stick to "walk" or "see." Then hurry the kids along and make sure they don't speak with the person with a disability. If they do so, they may find out the person is a person. If they find out people with disabilities have things to say, they may not share your opinion that all people with disabilities should be kept out of the public eye, in institutions if possible. Your kids may also not learn to share your opinion that people with disabilities should not be born in the first place.
Ignore the whole situation
Walk away, and if necessary drag your kids bodily from any kind of encounter. Again, your kids will learn from you that "out of sight is out of mind" and you will feel you are protecting your kids from a bad thing. You will also avoid questions about myths and stereotypes, things you have come to believe and find logical. Your kids will likely challenge your beliefs because, in fact, those beliefs are not logical.
Express pity
Keep in mind the statistics about the high unemployment rate, poor living conditions and high rates of hate crime associated with disability and quote them loudly. Then list all the reasons why the person's particular disability makes life "a living hell" (and use that phrase). Follow up with about five minutes of ridiculous phrases like "you are so inspiring" and "you are so brave, considering." Although the person with a disability will no doubt be laughing at you after only a few seconds, tell your kids the person should be pitied even more because he or she is also stupid or crazy.
Confront the disabled person
You probably feel that disabled people are the cause of the crisis in US health care. After all, the elderly and the disabled need the most care and can't pay for it themselves, right? This drives up your premiums or denied you health care, right? If the disabled person counters that he or she is paying premiums too, and that profit-making by the health care industry needs correction, yell even louder. After all, your kids should know that health care should be debated from uninformed emotion rather than fact, right? If possible, threaten or even assault the person to let him or know who's the boss. Your kids may respect you. Or not.
The likely results
No matter which of these techniques you use, you will help form your children's opinions and behaviors about people with disabilities. In only a few minutes you will have them solidly established with the last of the fashionable bigotries.
However, if you want your kids to live in a better world, especially when they or you become disabled, stay tuned for the second article in this series, "How to bring up a real person."
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