At some point, you decided to enter into a long distance relationship. It may or may not have been an easy decision or a smooth transition, but you hoped that it would work out. While some long distance relationships can turn into long-term happy marriages, others do not last as long. What do you do if you find yourself in a long distance relationship that you no longer want to be in? How do you end a long distance relationship in the least complicated and heart-breaking way possible? While there is no clear-cut answer, there are a few factors to consider when contemplating how to end your long distance relationship.
How far away you live from your significant other and how often you see them will determine how you should break up with them. If you see each other once a month or more, then you should wait to do it in person. On the other hand, if you only see each other once every few months, then you can break up over the phone. Never do it over email or text if you have a choice.
Reason for wanting the break-up
Did one of you cheat in the relationship? Are you growing apart? Have you found someone you are more compatible with? Depending on the situation and the reason for the break-up, you can either let the relationship fizzle out on its own (like some friendships do) or you can have a definitive talk. A clear break is often better for both parties because it does not leave any questions unanswered and there are no confusions about whether or not you are still in a relationship.
Length of time spent in the relationship
Some bonds are well-formed before the couple must separate; others form while the two are already living in separate cities. Depending on the length of time you have been in the relationship (with special consideration to the length of time you have been together before becoming long distance), you can determine how to break up with your significant other. The longer a couple has been together, the more important it becomes to conduct the break-up in person.
Certainty over wanting the relationship to end
In long distance relationships, sometimes things are said and done in the heat of the moment or at 2 a.m. when you are not thinking clearly. Make sure you actually want to break up before you act. Take into consideration your levels of happiness, the frequency with which you and your significant other argue and whether or not you see a future with this person. Most importantly, figure out if you love them and if you believe they are worth the time, energy, money and sacrifices you are giving them.
Timing is everything
Long distance couples face many obstacles that same-city couples do not. A large majority are in college, with the stresses and pressures of classes, homework and tests. Some work long hours and must endure draining presentations and meetings. If you decide that it is time to end the relationship, do not do it before a major test or work event. Show respect for your partner by not sabotaging their chances to perform well on important occasions. Chances are that they are away from their primary support system and this can cause them major disruptions in areas of their lives that spread farther than their heart. If you wait until after a stressful period, you may notice that your partner returns to their lovable self after the pressure has subsided from their lives. Even when you do want to end a relationship, you should try to do it in the least harmful way possible.
Weight in on this advice below: Have any of you broken up in a long-distance relationship? If so, what steps did you take to end it?