No, no, this is not an article on where to get cheap theatrical make-up. “How to act” in the South means “how to behave.” If you have cultural aspirations here in Nashville, there are some things you probably need to know in order to partake of that culture without being the source of a scene. Let me enlighten you.
In case you hadn’t noticed, Nashville is a conservative town.
Ladies, please do not show up at a nice restaurant in a skirt or dress that begs the question, “Where are your pants?” If it is visually uncertain whether or not you forgot to put on your pants today, you need a longer skirt.
Nashville also likes matching.
Gentlemen, you’re not proving anything except that your Momma used to pick out all your clothes if you show up to an event looking Goodwill barfed on your closet. Other cities have a more radical dress code, but in Nashville that marks you as juvenile, or with too much money to blow on clothes, or both (coughVANDERBILT).
In case you hadn’t noticed, Nashville is a Conservative town.
While people in Nashville are willing to discuss or debate most things, and heaven knows an art event is an excellent place for discussion, you are going to make yourself obnoxious if you try to convert us all to the flavor of the month. Enjoy the art. Comment on it. But please do not try to turn an opening into a town hall meeting. I think we’ve all had enough of those.
The wine is free because we’re nice, not because we want to clean up your vomit.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.
In conclusion, I hope that these simple tips will inform young and old alike (especially old) on how to blend in without becoming the margarita mix. So blend in. Wear a funky top with a clean pair of jeans, make interesting comments, and meet new people. But please. Do not vomit.