As single women, we're often told to be open to new experiences and to keep an open mind about what the future may bring. No one ever tells you to just say "no" or to limit the experiences you have when in fact, saying "no" can actually make you more appealing for a relationship more than saying "yes" can.
Now this doesn't mean you should say "no" to absolutely everything, but rather stop and think about what you're doing to do before acting. Some situations will arise in your life what will require you to make a decision, to go forward with what's happening or to walk the other way. Some are easy to determine. Should you accept an offer from someone you've never met before to drive you home? No. Should you spend some time chatting with a guy to get to know him before handing over your phone number? Yes. Other times, it's not so clear.
All single women reach the point at least once in their lives where they don't care about finding a guy and let go of any restraint. While you may not be looking for a relationship, be sure others are. The image you present of someone who lets random guys grind up on her at parties, drinks excessively, and goes home with whoever is willing gives the quick impression that you're a women with very low standards. We're all allowed our moments of carefree fun, but when this behavior becomes a habit, then it's a problem.
Saying "no" to situations that veer from how you normally act and carry yourself will help you to avoid being viewed in this negative light by others, and by yourself. No one wants to look back on their actions with disapproval and embarrassment. Value yourself, what you have to offer, and don't feel the need to lower your standards just to get some attention. To be in a lasting relationship, you want to attract the right attention and connect with like-minded men. Saying "yes" to every guy and every opportunity is only going to attract guys who are looking for some quick fun with no commitment. That's not want you want in the long run.
By saying "no" now, you're also getting into the habit of standing up for yourself. This will go a long way to prevent you from being stepped on or pushed around in a future relationship. Some men respond to strength and encourage it in the women they date, but there are others who see the inability to say "no" as something to be taken advantage of. Don't become a target.
Continue going out, meeting people, and having fun, but do so in a way that you're comfortable with. Don't feel pressured to act a certain way or put yourself in risky situations (consider STDs and pregnancy when sleeping around) just because it's what your friends tell you to do or what you see in movies. Be single however you want to be single. There are plenty of new things you can try that will help enhance the person you are and make you even more irresistible to your ideal man.
There is no shame in saying "no" or setting boundaries. Stick to your guns and you'll be fine.
Have you ever been pressured to do something you didn't want to do as a single woman? How did you handle it? Be sure to leave a comment below.
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