Bars are a standard spot for scouting singles. The social atmosphere lends all too easily to a casual flirtation, and with hope, a potential connection. Yet as simple as it is to find attraction in a bar, there are things you might be doing that make for an immediate turn-off. Read on to learn what not to do when flirting with a potential date in a bar:
Rely on thy wingman. It’s tempting to bypass this rule as you can’t always know what to expect from your chosen wingman or wingwoman. Focus less on your partner-in-crime’s performance and more on your delivery. Going it alone in a drinking environment just comes across creepy, like you are looking to set a target and not simply wishing to ignite a spark with some stimulating conversation. Having a second hand also ensures less awkward silences and more chances to hit it off with a sultry someone through witty banter.
Respect the language of the body. Inebriation makes a fool of many; don’t let it make a fool of you by ignoring the obvious. A smile may just mean someone is humoring you, but a tense posture and shoulders pulled up as if to block are really what should catch your attention. Take note if a laugh reaches the eyes because cues like this will give you a clearer vision as how to better your approach.
Take your ego out of it. The most effective tool in the art of seduction is turning the conversation to the other person. It is natural to talk about yourself but you’re here to learn about the chosen attracter. Ask candid questions during your flirtation and include tidbits about yourself only when it will add to the conversation and the interviewee’s curiosity has piqued. The second rule listed here will help you to know the right timing. As previously mentioned, it is comfortable to talk about oneself, so focusing on the other person will help put him or her into their comfort zone, allowing them to be more open to you.