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How men and women communicate

Ozarka Water
Dana Carroll

Are you communicating?

Men and women communicate differently. This is not new news. So why is it that so many men and women are still communicating with each other like we are all the same?

Think about how in the movie, “White Men Can’t Jump,” Rosie Perez’s character and Woody Harrelson’s character were laying in bed and she told him that she was thirsty. So he proceeds to get her a glass of water. Which to any logical human being, this seems like the right thing to do. Right?

Wrong. From a female perspective, she wanted him to empathize with her and understand her problem, not try to solve it for her. She described a man’s need to always solve a woman’s problem instead of truly understanding it as a form of control. Though this example is extreme, this is the conflicted dance men and women do on a regular basis.

We’ve all heard the saying; opposites attract, but is this true when it comes to communication styles? Speaking in generalities, men are less communicative than women to begin with, so if you get a man that shuts down when the woman in his life wants to discuss feelings or anything emotional, how can that work? She has a need to communicate her feelings and understand his, yet he doesn’t have anything to give her when she asks what he thinks or feels.

According to research conducted by UCLA, communication is only 7% what you are actually saying and 93% how you say it and nonverbal communication like your expression. So what does this mean for the couple that struggles with their communication?

Talk less!

That’s right. Talk less. Stop talking so much and try touching, feeling and listening.

Where are the best places to go in Kansas City if you and your mate have made communicating better one of your New Year’s resolutions?

18th and Vine to listen to live music should be at the top of your list of to do’s. The atmosphere varies, so if you’d like a romantic candlelit evening, the Blue Room is phenomenal. The Blue Room has open mic night on Mondays, so if you are musically inclined, or just like hearing a variety of sounds, this is the best choice. If you want something more laid back with the best wings and catfish, then Danny’s is probably more your style.

Having dates where talking is not the primary goal, can actually help you communicate better. Good luck KC!


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