"How I Met Your Mother" season 9 continued Monday, Jan. 20, with episode 14, "Unpause," in which Ted and Robin took advantage of a drunk Barney and Marshall tried to avoid a fight with Lily.
This "HIMYM" episode began with a look at the Farhampton Inn – in 2017. Ted and The Mother took one last weekend away before she was due to give birth, but she went into labor. He hoped she had their baby soon because "nothing good happens after 2 a.m.," something she didn't buy. Then it was time to go to the hospital.
Sunday 2 a.m., 16 hours before the wedding
In the present, Marshall and Lily's fight was still paused, and he was determined to keep it paused, so he kept buying drinks for the others and showed off the embarrassing souvenirs he took from Ted's childhood home: a Totally Awesome Ted mug, a stuffed turtle he gave his mother when he was 19 with a recording, and a photo of young Ted with his best friend dressed up as cowboys – and his best friend was a balloon.
Barney proceeded to get Jabba-drunk, and while Marshall tried to prolong being alone with his wife, she dragged him off to their room – for sex. However, when she declared their fight would remain paused until after they finished having sex, he became determined to give "the performance of a lifetime" to postpone it.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Ted and Robin realized that Barney had reached "truth serum drunk" when he commented he needed to get his ear hair trimmed, and with that, the questioning began. Robin tried to find out what he meant by "ring bear," while Ted wavered between wanting and not wanting to know what Barney did with his mother. (He was thrown out trying to stretch a singe into a double.) They kept feeding him drinks when he slipped back to Jabba-drunk to get him back to "truth serum drunk," which meant he just handed over a vial of pills when Marshall came running in because thinking of road kill, fingernail clippings, and bugs worked too well. Marshall's plan worked too; Lily was fast asleep after sex...until he stepped on the turtle and woke her. Unpause.
Then came the one question everyone had wanted an answer to for years: "What does Barney do for a living?" He had always answered the same way ("Please"), but when he gave the same answer, Ted realized he was telling them. It went all the way back to when he was a hippy whose girlfriend was stolen from him by a business man, Greg, who was the only one he knew in the corporate world. Greg had only one job open: "PLEASE" – Provide Legal Exculpation and Sign Everything. Robin was understandably worried about what being the fall guy meant for his future, but it turned out that he had a master plan. Two months after the wedding, he told Greg he'd been working with the feds to have his division shut down and him arrested. He got his revenge.
Robin did finally get an answer about that "ring bear"/ring bearer situation, as Barney told her that yes, there was an actual person. "I want our wedding to be perfect." After she left, Ted asked how he was doing with the wedding only hours away, and Barney said that while he was nervous, he loved Robin more than anyone and would do anything to make her happy. He used to feel broken, but not anymore. He was 100 percent awesome, and then he was back to being Jabba-drunk.
Marshall and Lily's fight ended up being worse than they could have imagined, as past hurts, specifically Lily breaking up with him and moving to San Francisco, were brought up, and Marshall accused her of seeing him and their family as a consolation prize when she insisted they were going to Italy. She left and called someone downstairs, then got into a car outside and left. Nothing good happened after 2 a.m.
Or did it? Back in the future, Ted, The Mother, and baby Penny waked out of the Inn and got into the car. Every rule had an exception, and for this one, that was Luke. Their children got names!
"How I Met Your Mother" season 9 airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on CBS. What did you think of episode 14 "Unpause"?