In the latest episode of season 9 of "How I Met Your Mother", which aired on Monday, September 30, at 8/7 p.m. central on CBS, Ted plans his "Last Time in New York" by making a good-bye list before he moves to Chicago.
On Ted's list are things like "say good-bye to the Empire State Building" or having drinks with his students. Lily (Alyson Hannigan) finds the list when she is looking for inspiration to write her speech. She notices that one point is still not marked off, which should have been one of the easiest ones - have a Scotch with Barney (Neil Patrick Harris). She wonders if Ted is avoiding Barney since the scene between Ted and Robin (Cobie Smulders) at the carousel last season.
Another point on the list is to come clean about Arpil 26. Ted (Josh Radnor) confesses that it wasn't the dry-cleaner, who ruined Lily's dress for the rehearsal dinner, but that it was him and Marshall (Jason Segel). They had a dagger duel a la "The Prince's Bride" and accidentally cut Lily's dress.
To punish them Lily makes Ted wear and old fashioned red and white striped bathing suit and Marshall has to put on a Packers jersey and wear a cheese hat.
Meanwhile Barney and Robin are trying to hide from their elderly family members. They are suddenly worried that they won't have a sex life anymore once they get married, and would do nothing but fight and bicker.
James comes to their rescue and volunteers to take on the aunts and uncles on his own, so Barney and Robin can sneak off to find a naughty place to have sex at before the wedding. To cover more ground they split up and Robin runs into Ted and Lily, who are still discussing the list. Lily tries to cover for Ted and claims it is her to-do list before she goes to Italy.
When Robin sees the point about April 26, she unintentionally confesses that she had a dagger fight with Lily herself, in which the $600 bottle of Scotch, Ted had reserved for him and Barney, got broke and that the girls refilled the bottle with a concoction of cheap liquor, food coloring and hand sanitizer. Ted never knew when he took a drink: "She is breathtaking".
The gang has no time to discuss this as Barney thinks he found an empty room for him and Robin to use. But before they can get it on they hear Robin's great-grandparents and flee the room in disgust: "His testicles were swinging like a broken yo-yo", Barney cringes.
But after thinking about it for a moment they decide that it is kind of cute that they are still into each other after being married for so many years. And with renewed hope for their future sex life, they are now ready for face their relatives.
Lily feels bad for breaking Ted's bottle of Scotch and buys him a new one in the gift shop. She understands that he must be feeling really bad if he, who loves New York so much, feels the need to leave and start over in Chicago.
But it wouldn't be Lily if she didn't have another life lesson for Ted - also a point on his list, by the way: She tells him that he shouldn't say good-bye to all the good things, because they would always be waiting for him in New York. Instead he should leave behind all the "No's", the heartaches, bruises and bumps, and having a drink with Barney wasn't one of them.
Ted admits that he has been trying to avoid Barney but was now ready to face him. So he goes to find Barney to share the Scotch with him, but when Barney sees Ted, he lets him know that he watched Ted and Robin at the carousel.
How will this affect their friendship? Will it mess up the wedding? Find out on an all new episode of "How I Met Your Mother", next Monday, October 7, at 8/7 p.m. central on CBS.
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