"How I Met Your Mother's" final season continued Monday, Feb. 24, with "Rally," in which Barney had the worst hangover the morning of his wedding.
This "HIMYM" episode began with a look at Ted and The Mother's future, as they were on their way to celebrating The Mother's book. She warned him to take it easy on the champagne, and even as he protested he'd be fine and made a vow, she predicted he'd be hungover the next day. That was what led to a flashback to the wedding weekend, when he made his vow.
Barney only remembered ice water, a bear, rolling down stairs, and Lily and Robin going in for a kiss for the first two hours of his wedding day. What really happened began with Robin and Ted finding him passed out in the hallway, hugging a fire extinguisher, and not even telling him his shoes and belt didn't match could wake him.
Sunday 8 a.m., 10 hours before the wedding
The other four got Barney on a bed, but they had family wedding photos at the lighthouse in two hours, and her father would kill Barney if he didn't show up. This was the guy who used wolf's blood for his Bloody Mary. Unfortunately, they couldn't rely on Barney never taking a bad photo because, as it turned out, he could take a bad photo. "Barney may be dead," Ted declared. With that, Marshall vowed to never get that drunk again.
He broke that vow in 2020, when he was running against Brad for Supreme Court and was badly losing (and had badly lost his hair while Brad was still gorgeous). However, he did end up coming back, but when it came time to talk to the press, he was so drunk, he began talking about Batman.
Ted brought up the Bro-bel Prize-winning Stinson Hangover Fixer Elixir, the result of the Too Many Manhattans Project, which included, among other things, Tantrum soda and Funyuns and a secret ingredient. While Ted and Marshall went off to buy the ingredients they did know, Robin enlisted Lily to help her get the secret out of Barney. After they accidentally left him to roll down the stairs on a room service cart, they tried a few tricks Robin's father used on her and her sister to wake them for school: ice water, a bear roaring on TV, and threatening to cut his tie (the equivalent of a Cabbage Patch doll and an axe), but nothing worked. That was when Lily declared never to get that drunk again.
She broke that vow in 2030 after dropping Marvin off at Wesleyan and telling him not to do any underage drinking because no good came out of hanging out in bars. Marvin pointed out that all of her stories started in a bar. Then the parents ran into their son at a bar.
Ted and Marshall were able to get all the ingredients, including Tantrum, which had been discontinued for years, at the local mini-mart, but they needed grease. That was when they found out the inn was a grease-free zone. Or, well, a grease-free zone once they threw out the bacon grease. In order to get the chef to cook more bacon, they had to eat all the bacon before breakfast was over, and that was when Ted found out his mother had lied to him about his bacon (and donut and Halloween candy and not saying thank you) allergy (apparently Ted was a very gullible kid) and fell in love with bacon.
Lily then suggested she and Robin make out with each other – yes, she was over missing that spa appointment – and after Barney groaned, Robin made her vow.
She broke hers in 2016 in Buenos Aires, when she and Barney woke up on the floor. A baby began crying, and she got up to get her, but once she held the baby, she asked whose baby it was. No, they hadn't adopted a baby and thought binge drinking was still a smart idea. They were just in the wrong room.
You know that saying about too much of a good thing? Ted learned that lesson with all the bacon he ate, even though he grabbed another handful as he collapsed. Ted didn't eat bacon again because he ate enough for one lifetime in one sitting.
Lily did a poor job of hiding how happy she was about potentially making out with Robin, but just as they kissed, Barney woke up and Ted and Marshall came in with the rest of the ingredients. However, Barney then revealed that there was no secret ingredient. The Elixir was a lie. He passed out from too much alcohol, and Ted collapsed from too much bacon.
The others wondered if Barney lied to mess with them, leading to a weird aside about mushrooms and sea monkeys. "My older brothers are not the best people," Marshall said, stating the obvious. [Insert montage of everything his brothers did to him over the years?] But when Barney said he loved them, Robin realized that he brought out the Elixir at their worst points. He made it up so they'd believe they could rally, and it worked. So it was their turn to do the same for him.
Cue The Weekend at Barney's plan for the wedding photos, Barney earning Robin's father's respect, and Barney happy one hour later. Or so he thought. What had really happened was they had cancelled the wedding photos and Robin's father hated him. And then Ted made his vow.
And flashforward to New Year's Day, 2022. The Mother was the one hungover, and Ted brought her the Elixir. As if they weren't already cute enough, then their kids joined them on the bed.
"How I Met Your Mother" season 9 airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on CBS. What did you think of "Rally"?