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(By Diane Bondareff/Marshalls via AP Images)
As many of you are aware, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Of course, the key to prevention of any type of problem is an awareness of the problem. Domestic Violence that is occurring in America’s homes has a very profound and devastating effect on our children. Even if the children are not being abused themselves, their just witnessing abuse, whether it is verbal, physical, or sexual, has damaging results on them for the long-term.
Current estimates in the United States are that 3.3 million children from the ages of 3-17 years have witnessed abuse in their homes or they have been abused. The truth of the matter is that 2 out 3 times when the mother is being abused so are the children. Many women feel helpless to change their current situation and feel trapped as a result of a “victim mentality” or fear of trying to make it on their own and trying to provide for their children. Many abusive men use finances as a way to manipulate and control women into staying in an abusive relationship by saying to them, “you will never be able to make it on your own”. Money is used as a way to control and continue to abuse.
When a mother is abused it affects the children in the following ways:
Children often feel helpless to do anything about their situation and this contributes to feelings of fear, confusion, and eventually depression.
Children often feel guilty that they are unable to protect their mother from abuse that is occurring towards her.
Children, especially boys, often grow up having difficulty maintaining a healthy and stable relationship. These children tend to be angry and aggressive towards women, because that is what has been modeled for them.
Children will often struggle with frequent physical illnesses. Children from homes where Domestic Violence is occurring are simply sick more often than children from homes where abuse is not occurring. These children complain of headaches, stomach aches, and often for younger children, bedwetting is seen.
Lastly, children who witness Domestic Violence exhibit significant emotional and psychological problems. They usually struggle with low self-esteem, exhibit aggressive and acting out behaviors, and show little empathy for others. They have problems with anxiety, depression, eating disorder, and even sleep disorders.
Children that live in homes where Domestic Violence is occurring are seen more often for psychological treatment as a result of the negative feelings that witnessing Domestic Violence evokes in them. For women that are being abused, consider the long-term effects that happen to children and know that help is available. Whether help comes from family, friends, a counselor, a church, neighbors, or from having to go to a domestic violence shelter to escape the abuse, help is available. No one deserves to live a life where they are being abused and children certainly do not need to grow up in this type of environment.
Individual and/or family counseling is often needed for the abused woman and her children to cope with feelings of anger, fear, guilt, and how to deal with conflicts in life in a non-violent fashion.
For more info: Women Shelters in Florida provided by US Attorney Legal Services and Florida Certified Domestic Violence Centers provided by the Florida Coalition Against Domestice Violence.
Family Counseling in Ocala.
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