We have all experienced heart break at one point or another. Sometimes we are the heartbreakers and sometimes we are the heartbreakees. It can be a rough experience for all parties depending on the circumstances. But how do you handle it when you are the one experiencing the heartbreak? What do you do when the person you love doesn’t feel the same way about you and leaves your life? Unfortunately, we were never advised on how to deal with this type of emotional trauma and are left to figure it out on our own. Heartbreak can cause a person to lose sleep, lose weight, fall into a deep depression, affect their work and sometimes their health. The pain you feel is real and needs to be addressed, but in a way that is helpful and healthy. Both men and women suffer from the pain of a broken relationship and nowadays we are hearing more and more terrifying stories of people who don’t know how to address their feelings in a healthy manner. It is horrible how many stories are in the headlines about a distraught ex who has come back to kill the object of their affections and then take their own lives right after.
***Sidebar*** Pay attention to the people you are dating. Find out their background and get to know the people around them. The internet is a great source to use to find out if they have been in jail, have been married, and any other thing you can think of to find out information about a significant other. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and if something doesn’t look or feel right then get out and stop making excuses for their erratic behavior, we can’t save you from the grave. ***Sidebar***
So what do you do when your heart is broken? Cry. There is nothing wrong with crying and expressing your emotional pain physically. Let it out and deal with it. Pray. Turn you heart and troubles over to God. Ask Him to see you through this tough time and for Him to show you what He has in store for us. A lot of times the people we think is so right and perfect for us is not who God has been preparing us for. Pray for discernment so that you can know when the person God has created for you shows up. When you are done crying and continuing to pray; think about where you want to be and they type of person you want to be with. Ask yourself real questions about the relationship and if you were really treated, cherished, honored and loved the way you deserved to be? As an example, when I look at my Pastor and first lady’s relationship I see what I desire in a marriage and as a woman. My Pastor loves the ground his wife walks on and it is evident by the way he speaks to and of her. The way he looks at her and touches her. It is evident in his work how much he cherishes and honors her and their family. I am praying daily that God is preparing for me a husband that will love me like that.
Get back to yourself. Leave the other party totally alone and do you. If the relationship is over the worst thing you can do is badger and stalk your ex. They broke your heart and decided not to be with you anymore. Don’t continually call them, show up at spots you know they will be at, call their friends and family, or cyber stalk them on Facebook and Twitter. Cut them completely out of your life while you are getting over them. Take down their picture and stop listening to the mix tape they made for you. You are only torturing yourself and looking a little crazy. Spend time with your family and friends. Take some classes and join a gym. I have list a whole list of things to do in the blog “It’s Over. Time To Move On” http://www.tamikalanelle.com/2010/09/its-over-time-to-move-on.html.
The best way to get over a man is with a new man. Don’t jump into a new relationship with someone else right away, but do open yourself up for dating. Get out and meet some new people. Go to a movie or to dinner with a nice man with whom you don’t mind spending some time with. This gets your mind off your heartache and allows you to see the latest movie without spending any money. If you aren’t ready to see other men then just spend time with your besties. Let your friends replace your ex boyfriend. Have them over for a girls night and you all have dinner together with some drinks. Throw on The Girlz cassette of "It's Over" and laugh at all your exes. (Remember that song? Pull it up on YouTube)
The best thing you can do is convince yourself that you are too good for your ex. After all, it is his lost. Now I say all this assuming that you are a good catch. If you are a crazy jealous type chick that loved to argue all the time then he did right by leaving you. After all, who wants to have to deal with the madness of the world and then have to come home to you and your crap? When does he get a break? Sometimes break ups are essential for your breakthrough. You will have to lose something to get something better at times. Love yourself and know your worth. Just because the last man couldn’t see, recognize or cherish the beauty in you doesn’t mean the next man won’t. Be patient, obedient and wait on God. Don’t worry, you are not waiting alone. I’m waiting too so you are in good company. Meet me for a drink and we can talk about how great we are and how much they are going to miss us, LOL.