Forgiveness is something that we all struggle with from time to time. It can be quite a difficult subject for people because there is a misconception of what forgiveness is and how to forgive.
Let's take a look at what forgiveness is NOT:
- Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. We have always been told to forgive AND forget. Forgetting is not required in order to forgive.
- Forgiveness is NOT quick. Forgiveness is a process and sometimes you have to process it for a long period of time.
- Forgiveness is NOT minimizing, allowing, or excusing the person who has done you harm.
- Forgiveness CAN'T be forced. In order to truly forgive you have to be in the right frame of mind to do that.
What forgiveness IS:
- Forgiveness heals the one forgiving on all levels of their being. It heals body, mind, and spirit.
- Forgiveness frees you from feeling like a victim.
- Forgiveness is a shift in your perception. You can begin to see the one you need to forgive as acting out of their own woundedness.
How do you change your perception?
- First, understand that you need to forgive yourself. Sometimes we can be hard on ourselves and we need to see our own woundedness and forgive ourselves.
- Become mindful of your hurt. Connect with it through your heart. Sit with the feelings of your hurt, acknowledge it and then let it go.
- Spend time in meditation connecting with your heart. There is a wonderful form of meditation that helps with forgiveness and compassion. Tonglen Meditation is a beautiful form of meditation to use in your forgiveness practice.
As you practice forgiveness you will reach a place where you can more easily let go of the history that causes you to be stuck in the place of victim. Change happens when you become more aware.