Have you ever seen a guy you liked or thought was attractive and wondered, “Why is he with that girl?” Like it or not, there's a reason if not many reasons that draws him to her. So what is it that men want? If we knew the answer to this question we all could have any guy we were interested in, right?
While out to dinner with friends, a twenty something single guy informed me that men are simple. He said that the reason men choose a particular woman has a lot to do with timing. This fact has been proven pretty accurate. But there is more to it than that.
According to the May 2010 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine, “It’s usually a small act or fleeting moment that makes them want to go the distance and pop the question.” They asked several married men why they married their wives and they each gave surprisingly simple reasons.
The first man said he married his wife because she surprised him by buying him his favorite book. He’d told her years prior about the book so when she gave it to him he was shocked. The next man married his wife because she never nagged him about hanging out with his friends. Husband #3 explained how his wife took care of his ailing mother and that is how he knew she was the one. Another guy they asked told of how his then girlfriend and now wife, was not afraid to be the life of the party. He said, “Looking at the people around her, I could see how enraptured with her they were. The way she lit up the room was amazing. Witnessing how her lively personality drew other people in made me realize she was the girl I couldn’t let get away.”
What should be gathered from all of this is that none of these men mentioned looks as a reason. Often women focus on their appearance in order to get the man they want when they should focus on the emotional attachment they can form from just being themselves.
If you are outgoing there will be a man that sees this as exactly what he wants in his wife. If you are naturally considerate and pay attention to details, there will be opportunities for you to wow the man of your dreams. If you like having fun there will be someone that finds this one simple thing about you beautiful. One man even appreciated the way his wife argued with him. He loved that she was passionate about her views which caused them to fight, but she was also able to get him to talk about what was really bothering him in a way that made him feel comfortable.
What people in relationships need to understand is that just because you are not the one for him, doesn’t mean you are not the one for someone else. When it’s right men know. Just be yourself and allow the man of your dreams to see who you really are. It’s better to be appreciated for who you really are, rather than who you think he wants you to be.
There are so many things to do in Kansas City this summer for couples. Worlds of Fun is now open weekends. The Starlight Theatre has an amazing lineup including Dream Girls and the Jill Scott and Maxwell Concert.
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Comments
The reasons referenced from Cosmopolitan was very vanilla and have very little to do with gender. They very likely might have gotten the same answers on the other foot. I believe that adults choose their mates by finding a balance they have been missing, which is nearly impossible to find, and there is no reason to stay in one that is not balanced. Just keep swimming.
Hello Dana, as a counselor my professional answer might be. Slightly different from my own personal view. Professionally I think the previous writer was on point. I would add the idea that balance desired is often an unconscious way of adding confidence and security to ones life. Just out of my own curiosity Dana, I would love to know your personal view of what men are looking for. Send me your thoughts via message on Facebook. My page is Proskills. I look forward to your reply.
KJ
I just recently started writing for Examiner.com and I absolutely love it. I was intrigued by your articles and have read a few. I really agree with you. I think what you are writing on is exactly what people want and need to know. I have really enjoyed reading your work and I look forward to reading more. Keep up the great work!!!
Thanks so much Lisa! Welcome to Examiner.
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