Skip to main content
  1. Life
  2. Careers & Workplace
  3. Jobs

Honey, we need to talk

See also

It should come as no surprise that I read a lot of articles about retirement. As most retirees already know, much of what is written about retirement has to do with money and savings and will you have enough and why didn’t you start saving when you had your paper route. Of course, I tend to look at the emotional and psychological side of retirement instead of the financial one, so I was interested when I saw an article about a “10 items retirement checklist.”

While most of the advice was sound enough, the author’s choice of #9 out of 10 really shocked me. He waited until the end to advise “consult your spouse.” Excuse me? Shouldn’t that be number one on the list? How is a couple going to navigate the ins and outs of retirement if they haven’t discussed it and shared their vision of the future with each other? How can any one make a plan about where to live, how much to spend, what kind of retirement life together they hope to share if there has been no conversation first?

Retirement affects everyone around you, from your spouse to your adult children, your grandchildren and your friends. Each of these has an idea of what would be an ideal retirement for you and may actually be counting on you to serve as a babysitter, chauffeur, errand runner, or full time companion. Your spouse definitely has ideas, either spoken or unspoken, and to wait until that final paycheck is a big mistake.

The change from employment to retirement is a major one, and many people find it a bumpy transition. Dozens of people have told me they “flunked retirement” until they found a structure, purpose and community to replace the one they had when they worked. Many had to deal with an identity crisis, realizing that they are not their job, and that they needed to think about who they are as individuals rather than being the title they were when working.

Retirement does not have to be about aging, decline or illness. It should be about new adventures and new purpose and an unlimited future of possibilities. But if you plan on sharing that future with another person, start talking about it now. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind….say it out loud! And don’t hold back when expressing your personal vision.

Retirement is not about regret. It is about fulfillment and choice, and if you are lucky enough to have a partner, it means listening as well as talking. And making sure that communicating about it is number one on your list.



  • Dead babies found
    Seven dead babies were found in Utah resident Megan Huntsman's old home
    Shocking Discovery
  • Kendall Jenner
    Get the Coachella looks: Kendall Jenner’s nose ring, green hair and edgy nails
    Coachella Look
  • Dog's Easter basket
    How to fill your dog’s Easter basket with the perfect toys
    Easter Basket
  • Rabbit owners
    Bringing home the bunny: Important information for rabbit owners
    7 Photos
  • Haunted island
    The world’s most haunted island may soon be the most haunted luxury resort
    Haunted Resort
  • Sunken ferry
    Search continues for missing passengers after a ferry sinks off the South Korean coast
    Sunken Ferry

User login

Log in
Sign in with your email and password. Or reset your password.
Write for us
Interested in becoming an Examiner and sharing your experience and passion? We're always looking for quality writers. Find out more about and apply today!