You know – you’d think that on GET OVER DAY™ people in Greater Jacksonville would line up to tell other Greater Jacksonvillagers™ where to get off.
But nooooo . . .
We got no billboards, no infomercials on public access, no radio spots.
No air time. No ink.
Nothing.
It’s like March 9th doesn’t even exist. (For a list of other weird March holidays, click here.)
Why Do We Need A GET OVER IT DAY™?
Holy crap! Do you live here?
GET OVER IT DAY™ exists for your co-worker who can’t get over the empty office coffee pot because making coffee is everybody’s job but his.
It’s for the people who breathe up your air while playing out their own little life dramas that they just can’t get over in public where you have to watch.
Then there’s the Nazi who puts the PO in Post Office. There has to be one day when we can say out loud, “Hey, dude, can you just get over it and sell me some stamps?”
GET OVER IT DAY™ is for every grouchy barista, bus driver, cabbie, fast food jockey and copy center monkey who must just get over it and keep the damn line moving.
Fellow citizens, we’ve been denied our Constitutional right to freedom of expression.
Things We Won’t See But Should
· Some woman in court-ordered anger management therapy who has to hand out business cards that say, “I need to learn to get over it. Take your best shot.”
· GET OVER DAY™ protestors working the sidewalks downtown waving placards that say, “I got over it. You can, too.”
· Meter maids putting sympathy notes under windshield wipers that read “Could you please get over this parking ticket and just pay it?”
· T-shirts sporting affirmations like, “I’m so over it,” and “I’m pissed off, and I just got over it.”
The Official GET OVER DAY™ Poem
NOBODY is happy, EVERY day of their life,
Not an American Idol®, not a Desperate Housewife®,
Not MVP athletes, not Oscar-winning stars,
Not rich CEOs, not hot chicks at bars.
We ALL have our issues; ALL lives contain stress,
At some point, we're ALL an emotional mess,
Ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands, ex-wives,
There are people to get over in EVERYONE'S lives.
But as much as things suck, as bad as they get,
If you got cheated on, if you're swimming in debt,
If you're aging or balding or get a cold sore,
Don't ever forget: It Could Always Suck More! (603-413-4130)
It's all part of life; it will help you grow stronger,
But this "pity party" of yours can't last any longer,
You can sit home alone, being sad and depressed,
Or you can choose to be strong, and do as we suggest:
March 9th is the day, to finally say:
"Move on! It's done! It's Get Over It Day!"
About GET OVER IT DAY™
GET OVER IT DAY™ was conceived by Jeff Goldblatt (he of The Rejection Hotline fame) after he took too long to get over an ex-girlfriend. GET OVER DAY™ got to be a serious thing when ABC's Good Morning America and ESPN's SportsCenter picked it up.
Halfway between Valentine’s Day and April Fool’s Day on purpose, Get Over It Day (March 9) is your deadline to dump all the emotional crap you spew that your friends and the rest of the world are tired of hearing about. Take the hint.
Over it and out.
GJE
-30-
©2013 All rights reserved.
OFFICIAL BIO: K Truitt is a second-generation, native Floridian born in Jacksonville. Truitt worked in public higher education for 25 years and knows newspaper publishing, printing and graphic design. Contact: kt.4examiner@yahoo.com
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