Remember the story of the guy who got a Taser up his cornhole because he didn't comply meekly and quickly enough?
Well, it now seems that he's getting a settlement from Boise's finest. Which is a joke, of course, since it's not their money in the first place, and they won't be in the least bit inconvenienced by it. No, it's more accurate to say that he's getting a settlement from everyone who has been taxed or fined (two kinder, gentler words for extorted) by the City of Boise.
Get it? Crime doesn't pay--you do. Over, and over, and over again.
Note, as well, that it's not the money that matters most to the thug-enforcers:
The settlement agreement contained a confidentiality agreement so all the details were not released. It was agreed that reaching a settlement now would be in the best interest of all parties. The settlement contained a provision that officers were making no admission to violating the plaintiff’s civil rights.
See, the money part is easy. (It is, when it's not yours. It's just an amount, and a bill sent to someone else.) But--wag finger here--there will be none of this "I did wrong" nonsense, because We Are The Government And We Simply Do Not Do Such Things. Or, to paraphrase something the redoubtable William Norman Grigg just said,
Since it is inconceivable that the state would justify any and every thing that it does because it is accountable only to itself, the state justifies any and everything that it does because it is accountable only to itself.
And so do we live in a world where getting sodomized by an electroshock torture device, by an official agent of the state acting in an official capacity and officially exonerated from any sort of official culpability, is not even the real punchline. Not hardly. The punchline, of course, is that the bill for all of this will be sent out shortly. And you will pay it.
On a totally unrelated note, how much you wanna bet that bill also contains a line item for new ninja gear for Boise's finest?
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Hat tip to David Codrea at WoG.
Comments
I love that you added the XKCD strip. As a Libertarian, I enjoy reading your posts!
Here I thought the joke was that you referred to LEOs as anyplace's "finest". They are the dregs of society, along with their symbionts- the *freelance* thieves and aggressors.
Gah. I know I shouldn't let such things annoy me, but they do anyway.
BTW, I enjoy xkcd for the geek-humor and intelligence, but I'm such an art-snob that the drawing bugs me. Have you read Dresden Codak? Same geek/science humor, with superb art. Sadly, very slow update.
George, I had not heard of Dresden Codak, but I'll defintely take me a look. Thanks for the heads-up.
I actually like xkcd's simplistic art, myself--sorta like using all power chords in music, it may be limiting in one way but inexplicably accessible in another--and Randall Munroe was also very gracious with permission to use his work. A whole lot of 'em sure do seem to fit the topics here!
Incidentally, a question: does today's image look reasonably clean in Firefox and horrible in IE? I'm using IE for comments and noticed that for me at least it looks terrible.
Hi Jillian--I hadn't been aware of your column before, but it's duly bookmarked. A quick look at your "cannabis culture" article made me smile. (Speaking plainly and unapologetically of free choice for the peaceable will do that.)
with the never ending ZOG militarization of our law enforcement officials what do you expect from their zoglings but to use their new toys on the populace.
we are all perps the zoglings.guilty until proven innocent in the Zog courts of law one hand on their talmud the other in the air as you swear under oath to their mythical god that what you say is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me zog.
now move along peons nothing to see here we have revenue to collect to pay for our lawsuits and new toys.
Maybe I'm just feeling charitable today, but I'll try to be nice, and we'll see how it goes.
Note the rewrite, sans the red-herring keywords:
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with the never ending militarization of our law enforcement officials what do you expect from their underlings but to use their new toys on the populace.
we are all perps [to] the enforcers. guilty until proven innocent in the courts of the almighty state that they treat as a god unto itself.
now move along peons nothing to see here we have revenue to collect to pay for our lawsuits and new toys.
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No shadowy cloak-and-dagger organizations necessary there, just real villains operating in plain sight and with impunity...from a complete spectrum of backgrounds. Been that way for all of human history.
A principle is always more powerful with the proper nouns removed anyway.
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