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Going off to college can be challenging for everyone.
As you watch your soon-to-be college students pack their bags and get ready to embark on their new adventure, it’s easy to get caught up in their enthusiasm. After all, going off to college is a big deal. But as you remind them to take enough socks and throw in a bottle of gummy vitamins in the hope that they’ll actually take them, you might also want to take a moment to consider how you can help them make a successful transition into a much more adult world.
When students think of college, they rarely think of the homesickness that can come with being in unfamiliar surroundings with people you don’t know, but it is an experience many, if not most, students have during those first weeks or months of being away from home. While most colleges do an excellent job of trying to help students make connections and feel at home in their new surroundings, it can still be a challenging adjustment. Here are a few suggestions of what you can do to help them to find their way through feelings of homesickness, as well as gain some self-confidence.
Let them know that homesickness is temporary.
Having a discussion with your student about homesickness before he/she leaves home can make a difference. Just knowing what to expect may relieve some of the intensity of the loneliness and fear they may experience. If they’re already homesick, sometimes all they need is someone to assure them that what they’re feeling is normal and that it will pass. Encourage them to be patient. Of course, if your child expresses worsening feelings of anxiety and/or depression, you should make every effort to get them to utilize the professional counseling services offered at their school.
Be prepared to offer suggestions.
During this time of adjustment to college and a new living situation, your student may need your encouragement to get out of their comfort zone. Make suggestions that will help them meet more people (i.e. attending a dorm activity, a school athletic event, or a study session). Not sure what to suggest? Check out the calendar of events that can be found on most schools’ websites.
Encourage moderate communication
If you put a bit of a limit on how often your student can call home, he/she may have a better chance of making a smoother adjustment. For some students, frequent calls can become a way to focus on everything “bad” that just happened making them increasingly miserable and worrying the heck out of their parents. Students who make fewer calls home tend to focus more on the good things that have happened and/or the truly difficult things they are facing, thus keeping things in perspective for themselves and their parents.
Be supportive, but don’t rush to the rescue
Know that the first few weeks or months will likely present new challenges to your student. Rarely do these problems require parental intervention, so when this happens it is important that instead of thinking, “What can I do to fix this?” you think, “What can they do to help themselves?” Provide your student with direction, but don’t make the call for them. The more they are able to deal with these challenges on their own, the more confident they are likely to become.
Send a care package
There’s nothing better than getting a care package from home to lift your spirits. These packages can also give your student the opportunity to break the ice with other people in his/her residence hall. So, while you should be sure to include a few special things for your student, don’t forget to also include some treats that can be shared with others, such as cookies and microwave popcorn.
Keep in mind that students can be very resilient and resourceful. Even when facing new situations, they are likely to be successful in making their way through this important adjustment. More importantly, with the support of your wisdom and encouragement, they can also develop skills from this experience that will serve them well throughout the rest of their lives.
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