Helping your child deal with anger

Anger is a part of life just as much as happiness, fear and excitement. Yet, we sometimes find that anger is so much more difficult to deal with. Rather than send your child the message that anger is "bad" (which we know is not true), why not help her find new ways to deal with it?

Well-adjusted children learn how to cope with and resolve anger, rather than acting out and causing problems for themselves or others. Start teaching your child the best ways to process and resolve her anger, as well as how to express it appropriately.

Kids need help dealing with anger, just like they need help learning to tie their shoes and zip their zippers.  Some kids will learn to get a handle on angry feelings much sooner than others.  This is an important thing for parents and caregivers to bear in mind.

Here are some thoughts on the subject:

1. Keep a handle on your own anger.  Your child is watching you and takes clues from you as to how to handle anger.  If you tend to blow your top, you can likely expect to see the same in your child.

2.  Remain calm in the face of your child's anger storm.  Don't respond with an equally strong reaction.

3.  Help your child think through the problem and take some deep breaths.

4.  IMPORTANT: Ask your child what the solutions to the issue might be.  This is critical in helping him develop problem-solving skills.  Also, when you do this, you may find that your child can come up with some solutions that you have never considered.

5.  Provide positive feedback to your child for handling his anger in an appropriate way. Provide positive feedback when you see your child trying to manage BIG emotions.

Resources for anger management for kids:

Anger management books for kids and parents, hand selected by a child and family therapist.

An anger worksheet to help your child.