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Hello Kitty isn't actually a kitty at all

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Hello Kitty has been a pop culture icon since her debut in 1974 but on Wednesday news was released by the Japanese-based company Sanrio that will change the way you view the world forever. Hello Kitty is not a cat. Just let that sink a moment. Christine R. Yano, an anthropologist at the University of Hawaii, has immersed herself in everything Hello Kitty in the name of pop culture phenomena broke the news to the world.

Sanrio contacted Yano with the correction after she referred to Hello Kitty as an actual cat, like we all assumed she was, in a script she wrote. The company told Yano “Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.” Also, according to Wikipedia she’s English and lives in London.

The news has reached far and wide since it broke and people everywhere are reacting to it. That includes Linkin Park rapper Michael Shinoda, who tweeted from backstage “I just got off stage and found out Hello Kitty is not a cat. This is worse than finding out pluto is not a planet.”

So there you have it, after 40 years of misconception and no real confusion because everyone on Earth unanimously thought she was a cat, the truth has finally come out and it’s a little bit weird if you think about it for too long. Hello Kitty isn’t human but she isn’t a cat either, she’s some kind of homo sapien, anthropomorphic creature living in a classist society where it’s okay to have a less-evolved member of your species as a house pet. But it’s all very cute so it’s okay. Maybe next we’ll find out that Rilakkuma is actually a giant space squid in a pope hat or something.

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