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Hell Date: The Toe Sucker

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Spring. The time of year is starts to warm up and all of your favorite crushes break up and get back on the market. There are so many possibilities. So you can imagine my excitement for my first date of the season.

I met “Joe” the waiter a few weeks before at a restaurant he worked at. He was so charming, with such a lovely smile I couldn’t say no when he asked for my number. We chatted and texted over the phone a few times, but I wanted to leave all the juicy stuff for the actual face to face. That day came.

REDFLAG #1: I had to pick him up from his mother’s house (in Compton) and drove us to the movie theater in Torrance. Now, this was around the time we were having a massive heat wave, so I had been wearing my Rainbow flip flops all day. The first thing he noticed were my feet; he complimented to bright color I had on my toes and went on to express his gratitude for a woman who takes care of her feet.

However, things started to get a little odd after the fourth time he complimented my feet. Don’t get me wrong, my feet are nice, but they’re not THAT gorgeous. At first I thought, nice, a man who pays attention to detail, but around the fifth time he said it – I was officially weirded out. Then the unthinkable happened…

About halfway into the movie, Joe placed my legs over his. I thought, this was a bit much for a first date, but he insisted. Once again he praised how pretty my feet were. I smiled politely then as I attempted to pull my legs away from his, he grabbed my foot, removed my sandal, and boop just like that MY FOOT WAS IN HIS MOUTH!

Now I don’t see anything wrong, with a man expressing his affection for HIS woman by kissing her feet, BUT this was a first date! How many other feet have been in his mouth?! A kiss was definitely out of the question at this point. So I had two options:
a. I could continue to let him suck on my feet and pray that it would hurry up and end
Or…
b. I could snatch my foot away horrified, cause a scene, and run out of the theater while I could…

But I was his ride… so when the date ended and he tried to kiss me, I politely pulled away and when he stepped out of the car, and leaned into the window telling me to call him, I couldn’t help it I yelped “No!” There was no way I had a future with a foot rapist!

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