Communication is one of the most important things in a marriage relationship. Communication will help avoid or work out misunderstandings much easier. It is very important that you learn how to communicate properly with each other. Many misunderstandings start with a lack of communication, or with negative communication.
The old shoe
When there is open communication in a relationship, it is easier for you to both “be on the same page.” There was a couple that lost quite a large sum of money because the husband had hidden it in an old pair of shoes, and the wife, not knowing this, threw the shoes away.
If you don’t communicate your needs to your partner, they will most likely not be met, because your spouse will not know what your needs are unless you tell them. For example, a wife may need to spend some closeness time with her husband so she tells him “I miss you”. The most likely response to this would be that the husband would say “I miss you too.” And that would be the end of it.
Let your spouse know your specific needs
Women need to learn to tell their specific needs to their husband without sounding demanding, whining, vague, etc. A better way to handle this situation would be for her to say something like “I really need to spend some closeness time with you, can we schedule some time to be together?” or something to that effect. Then her husband will know her need and will be able to meet it.
For men it is really important that he can listen when his wife needs to talk to him. If they realize that they don’t necessarily need to fix anything, they just need to be there to listen to and understand their wife; it may help take some pressure off. Women: if you need your husband to just listen, let him know, and give him appreciation afterward for listening to you.
Be respectful of each other
Especially when you’re in a misunderstanding, it can be easy to resort back to negative ways of communicating, etc. This is when you have to work extra hard to communicate effectively. Make sure to be respectful of your spouse even in the middle of a misunderstanding.
Remember that words are very hard to take back once they’ve come out of your mouth. If you are having a misunderstanding, try to focus on working out and resolving the issue and not get sidetracked into attacking each other. There shouldn’t be any name calling, attacks on character, yelling, swearing, hitting, etc.
Remember you’re a team
Show respect to your spouse both in front of others, and when you are alone together. This will help to strengthen the trust and bond that you have instead of tearing it down. Remember that you are a team and it’s not going to help your team if you’re tearing each other apart. Try to continually learn to better communicate and better work things out with each other and your marriage will be happier for it.
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