With the loss of a loved one, a marriage, relationship the pain is more than just mental. Studies have shown that our brain sends out powerful chemicals that our bodies perceive as real physical pain.
We often think that pain is associated with just physical pain (injury), but emotional pain can release the same response in our brain as physical pain does. The pain of loss is even greater because our brain becomes conditioned to that person who literally becomes a part of who we are. The loss is not just about a loved one passing away, it can be the loss of a marriage, friendship, relationship or even a pet. One of the biggest losses is going through a divorce with children involved. Not only has a person lost a partner, but a life with that person, not to mention dealing with all the loss after the divorce. Our emotional ties that happen over time shape our daily lives and become a part of who we are. Often times people do not give ourselves the chance to fully grieve. This can lead to confusion and ultimately medication and drug use to make the emotions numb.
Understanding that loss is truly recovering from an "injury" (heartache), it can help with the process of healing. If a person has broken a bone or recovering from a major surgery, they are expected to take time to heal. Healing involves, resting, taking vitamins, perhaps physical therapy (exercise), necessary bandaging (eating healthy) and time to heal the open wound from the inside out.
When emotional loss happens many times people try to heal from the outside in, placing emotional band aids on, to cover the emotional open wound. If another emotional loss happens when a person has not dealt with the first one, then the wound never heals leaving it open and exposed to infection. When this happens many people turn to alcohol, drugs, prescription medication to fight the infection, but unlike a physical wound, the emotional wound only gets worse, with this prescription.
How do to heal from emotional loss from within?
The first step is to feel the loss. Allow oneself to have a good cry, write a journal, or put it into music, paint, drawing, building, use a creative outlet to help express the loss. Use guided imagery as a way to heal the wound from the inside out,. Close the eyes and see the wound, the part that is missing and imagine it closing slowly each day more and more. Allow the change to happen, and accept that the person is not going to be a physical part of daily life and fill that time with something positive. Find a support group or reach out to friends and family for added support.
Don’t run from the feelings or isolate oneself. Use the energy to make oneself feel stronger, add new activities to enrich ones life. Along the journey help others who have had recent loss as well, be an inspiration to them. Keep in mind that it is a process, and once in a while those feeling may get triggered by something else, but be ready to accept it and deal with it. Allow those feeling to heal and strengthen from within.
Emotional loss is what makes us human and from emotional loss, pain of loss, it also brings about some of life’s most amazing creative gifts: Music, poem’s, writing, sculpting, painting, and the list goes on and on…………
Rebuild a life filled with hope of a new day. The most important lesson one can learn from loss is not to blame oneself or go back in the past. Loving memories are wonderful but understanding that is what they are "memories", cherish them and look forward to building new ones!