I saw the text message on his phone and it was from a women stating that she was going to meet my husband at a hotel in town. I felt a sharp pain grip my insides; I ran to the bathroom and threw up. How could this be I though our marriage was alright? Sure we had some ups and downs but nothing that I thought would have lead him to cheat on me. What do I do now?
This women is not alone, so many women and men go through the painful realization of a spouse cheating on them. It is not the act of the cheat per say but the betrayal, the lying and now the lack of trust that follows. Can a person really get over a cheating spouse? The answer depends on the couple and the situation that may have lead up to the cheating in the first place. Cheating is usually an underlining result of problems in the marriage that go unresolved. A majority of men that cheat on their wives do not want to leave them but are unhappy with their intimate lives.
As a clinical sexologist and relationship counselor I have helped couples over the years strengthen their sexual intimacy in the marriage which leads to solving other issues that were brought about by rejection and loss of intimacy. Not all men cheat because there are problems with their sex but a majority of them do. Unfortunately instead of having the skills to communicate their true feeling about sex to their wives or they just feel that the sex will never get better and they don’t want to leave the marriage they cheat instead. The result when the wife find out is always going to be worse then trying to resolve the problem before hand or leave the marriage became the damage is done.
The pain that cheating on a partner can cause is extremely damaging. If you are having problems with your sex life seek help from a profession before causing pain and damage that may be irreversible. If you are a women still in love with your husband even after cheating then go to counseling and work out the reasons why the cheating happened in the first place, it is truly the only way to heal the damage that was done.