Today is Have a Bad Day Day, which is the only day that people are encouraged to be rude in the workplace. The day started because people were sick to death of being told to “have a good day” by salespeople. On Have a Bad Day Day, salespeople are given permission to tell their customers just that—have a bad day.
But, really, why should the sales department have all the fun today? There are plenty of people that deserve to be insulted in the workplace—bad bosses, evil coworkers, annoying customers, parking lot attendants, you name it. To help you be more abusive today, here is a compilation of insults that you may (or may not) want to try out in the office. But caveat emptor: Just because you would like to unleash a torrent of abuse in your workplace, doesn’t mean you should. But it’s fun to fantasize—and it won’t put you at risk of job hunting tomorrow.
1. “Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?”
2. “I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.”
3. “Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing.”
4. “He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.”
5. “I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you.”
6. “He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear"—but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.”
7. “I don't want you to turn the other cheek—it's just as ugly.”
8. “See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.”
9. “The only squeeze he's concerned with is the one he can give his secretary.”
10. “His definition of mixing business with pleasure is spiking his secretary's drinks.”
11. “The only skill he's ever developed is the art of being obnoxious.”
12. “He's not been himself lately—he's been almost bearable.”
13. "Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege."
14. “As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?”
15. “He's the type of man who doesn't leave anything to your imagination and leaves even less to your patience.”
16. “Anything she hears goes in one ear and out through the telephone.”
17. “Don't you need a license to be that ugly?”
18. “He is living proof that man can live without a brain.”
19. “I bet your mother has a loud bark.”
20. “He's such a liar, you can't even believe him when he says that he's only lying.”
For more insults, log on to www.insults.net and www.comedy-zone.net.
Do you want to insult someone at work today? Leave what you would say to that person in the comments. Come on…you know you want to.
Related Reading:
Have a Bad Day Day: Quotes about insults
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