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Has Tinder made dating shallow?

Love forever. Not just tonight.
Love forever. Not just tonight.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

A local Chicago radio show asked its morning rush hour listeners whether they date more people simultaneously thanks to apps such as Tinder, and if so, how many dates have they juggled at one time. With the overwhelming number of possibilities online dating provides, it seems likely that one would have difficulty psychologically committing to one person.

This radio show mentioned the fact that in the back of the dater’s mind, he or she knows there is a world of opportunity at their fingertips, and thus, will not be willing to forgive minor flaws even in a decent date. Knowing that anyone is “easily” replaceable, the casual dater will move on without pause.

Further implications of these questions suggest that juggling daters could make for a lesser dating experience. No one person gets undivided attention, and this generation will again have disappointed its elders.

However, the truth of the matter is, this noncommittal game will inevitably last only for the initial stages of poly-dating. First of all, every individual is complex and unique; finding a partner is difficult because an individual seeks to find someone who is compatible with his or her own specific characteristics and idiosyncrasies. With that in mind, if two people really, truly hit it off, they most likely will not be so quick to use minor flaws as excuses to find a replacement, no matter how rife with replacements cyberspace may be.

Moreover, the notion of mass dating is perhaps not as awful and shallow as it sounds. It increases the pool, and in turn, the possibility of finding the right fit. Giving many people a chance will only increase chances of finding a suitable partner. Realistically, most conversations will die out quickly. Some will make it to a phone call or date. Inevitably, the most fitting match will rise to the surface, and will be difficult to ignore. The individual must trust their gut feelings - when it’s a no, it’s a no; when it’s close it’s close; and when it clicks, it clicks.

If someone is looking to date seriously, juggling daters is not the ends, it is the means. It does not make for a more shallow dating scene, but one that is conducive to today’s pace and needs. Apps such as Tinder offer massive exposure in a short amount of time. At the end of the day, individuals have space in their attention spans for as long as no particular person grabs the majority of that attention. When this gift of fate does happen, rejoining the Tinder pool of potentialities is not enticing in the slightest.

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