Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is the tale of siblings Hansel, as played by Michael Welch and Gretel, as played by Molly C. Quinn.
Hansel is buying his special smoke from Agnes (Lara Flynn Boyle), who uses the bodies of once-live teens to turn back time and viola! She becomes young again.
Agnes' first victim is Gretel's boyfriend. Ah, it's gross. She cuts him and removes body parts until she simply sucks the air out of him and she becomes younger as he dies.
As Gretel goes looking for Ashton (Andrew James Allen), the boyfriend, Agnes acquires new victims and the movie ends.
There were details and stuff.
Hansel & Gretel is mostly watchable excepting gratuitous gore, drug references and of course, profanity.
We sort-of laughed at one or two points. It was nothing hilarious or memorable.
Agnes: Don't touch my gingerbread house.
Agnes: I told you not to eat the gingerbread.
Agnes: That's German. That's where I'm from.
Agnes: This used to be a funeral home.
Agnes: Why don't you just come on in and we just talk about it?
Carlos: Where is yo' crop?
Carlos: Yo, I was looking for some old lady. You got some old lady living here?
Hansel (to Gretel): You're adopted.
Manny: I'd dead. No, we're dead.
Directed by: Duane Journey
Produced by: Mark Morgan
Written by: David Tillman
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Starring: Lara Flynn Boyle, Yancy Butler and Molly C. Quinn
Rated: Not
Time: 100 minutes
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