The Swami is back with baseball predictions that you can take to the bank. Over the past few seasons many of you are aware of my track record. (Hopefully none of you took my advice on a Cleveland Indians-Chicago Cubs World Series match up this year. Stupid Indians.)
This year I have scientifically based my picks on reliable data I have downloaded into my Uniblab 2300 computer. Data such as beer prices at each ballpark, food selection and quality, as well as several lesser baseball stats. So if you want to make some cash, sit back, pop open a brew and pay attention.
The Swami turns his attention to the ancient form of refreshment we call beer. When breaking down Boston, Detroit, St. Louis and Los Angeles we’re talking Stroh’s Sam Adams, Budweiser and whatever the hell they drink on the West Coast.
Obviously Sam Adams is the microbrew gone big time success story and Stroh’s Bohemian has a long history in Detroit. But Budweiser out of St. Louis is the King of Beers. They even have the Clydesdales. As far as the prices for a beer Fenway Park tops out at $7.20 average for a 12-ounce, followed by St. Louis at $6.72, Detroit at $5.04 per 12-ounce and LA bottoms out at $4.68 on average. I think those Hollywood big shots don’t drink beer anyway.
The beer edge? The Cardinals. This Bud’s for you.
Food plays an important role in the ballpark experience. In the past it has always been hot dogs, peanuts or Cracker Jacks. Not so today.
Detroit is rich in its brewery heritage as being diverse in ethnic cuisine. Home to the Tigers at CoAmerica Park you can get the usual assortment of ballpark fare, but Tigers owner Mike Ilitch also happens to own pizza chain Little Caesar’s, so guess what? Pizza, pizza, but don’t expect to get it for five bucks. At the game they’re a whole lot more expensive.
At Busch Stadium the Cardinals sell more nachos than any other stadium in the big leagues. Freshly made chips, Jack cheese and just about anything else you could want on them. Or how about a Mac&Cheese stuffed hamburger or those famous St. Louis style BBQ ribs.
At Fenway, former Sox infielder and broadcaster Jerry Remy operates a stand on Yawkey Way called Remdawgs. They are enormous all-beef dogs looking into. On the other hand, former Indians and Red Sox legend Luis Tiant has a joint called El Tiante, serving up a huge authentic Cuban sandwich with everything on the side but a Cuban cigar.
At Chavez Ravine, home to the Dodgers, who knows what those nutty Southern Californians eat. $20 tacos, empanadas, tofu dogs with organic mustard and wash it down with an appletini. Not my kind of ballpark atmosphere. Wasabi-glazed edamame instead of peanuts? Gimme a break.
The food edge? Fenway Park and the Sox. Who doesn’t love a Cuban sandwich in the bottom of the fifth inning?
All four teams are in the top ten in player payrolls for the 2013 season, so no one has the advantage.
So there you have the data, call your bookie and place your wager. As for me, I’m sitting back in front of the big screen with my Cuban sandwich, drinking a Sam Adams and watching the Red Sox become World Champs.
Play ball everybody.
World Champion Cuban Sandwich
8 inch Cuban Bread, Sliced in Hal Lengthwise
2 Tbs. Yellow Mustard
6 Oz. Smoked Pulled Pork
3 Oz. Black Forest Ham
4 Slices Dill Pickles
4 Slice Swiss Cheese
Spread mustard evenly over each half of bread. Layer one slice with pork, ham, cheese and pickles. Stack other of bread on top and wrap in foil. Smash the sandwich down with a brick or cast-iron pan and place in a preheated oven at 450 degrees for 8-10 minutes. Serve warm.