When Jerry and Mike Quarry fought Muhammad Ali and Bob Foster respectively in Las Vegas, someone cleverly called it "Quarry Brothers Versus Soul Brothers."
Now, with a bunch of namby-pamby schoolmarms getting their knickers in a twist over the ugly scene in Munich Saturday night between Dereck "Del Boy" Chisora and David Haye. I boldly propose a PPV Tv doubleheader which can be billed as "Klitschko Brothers Versus Thug Brothers."
All this hoohah about how the brawl between the two British fighters dragged boxing into the gutter, please stop it.
It dragged the gutter into boxing and, hey man, where else does it belong? Jimmy Cannon, the late scribe, called boxing the "red light district of sports" for good reason. Savvy, kemo sabe?
SEE POSSIBLE LIFETIME BAN FOR CHISORA IN GB
Imagine what this could be turned into? You put Chisora against Wladimir and Vitali in with Toemaker,
Don't worry about the meddlers from the British Boxing Board of Contol, leave them behind in the UK and have this show bring its gory glory to Deutschland Uber Alles.
Some are harkening back to Ali and he saying he wrestled on the floor of an ABC TV studio with Smokin' Joe Frazier as a bemused Howard Cosell added commentary. They recall how Ali ranted and raved, nicknaming Floyd Patterson "The Rabbit" while Sonny Liston was a "Big Ugly Bear" and lubersome Canadian George Chuvalo "The Washerwoman."
One of my all time favorite Ali tales is when he and Bundini Brown, wearing denim jacks with "Bear Huntin'" stitched on the back, mocked and harrassed Liston outside a Massachusetts commission office, part of a buildup for their second bout, the one which was postponed when Ali had appendicitis, the one that wound up in Lewiston, Maine.
As Boston Globe columnist Bud Collins wrote it, Ali and his sidekick even went on trolley cars running down Commonwealth Avenue asking if subway riders had seen danger man Liston.
My point is, when Ali cocked his fists and verbally trashed a foe, it was usually done with a nod and wink, not something you can say about Chisora and Haye.
Chisora and Haye, not the utttermost but the guttermost.
They've put the gutter back into boxing and it fits.
You want social niceties, friends, try polo or croquet.
And don't even get me started on the savages involved in those fox hunts.
Put it this way, the real "beasts" are not the dogs or the wily foxes. It's the asses sitting on their asses on the horses.
Tallyho!
(mlcmarley@aol.com)
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