Guilt is something that all of us have felt before. Some more than others. It is important to realize, that at many times, guilt does not necessarily depend on the act, but rather on the individual. In other words, it is a sentiment that is felt for either a reasonable or unreasonable cause. The conflictive thing here is: what can be held as reasonable or unreasonable?
As a Hispanic woman in the US, there is always the struggle to set a line between acceptable and unacceptable. Something being highly complicated when facing two very different mind sets, that of the American and the Hispanic. For example: What time should one come back home after a night of going out? Is it ok to invite a boyfriend to the room, no matter the intentions? What age is appropriate to have a boyfriend or husband? Is it ok to choose having a full time job instead of being a full time mom? And the list goes on. It seems to be that our views on what's acceptable and unacceptable changes as times goes along. There are obviously a different set of guidelines for a 14 year old girl than a 24 year old woman, but in the end, what guidelines for each should be followed?
It seems to be that Hispanic women have a long history of following society's established rules, through the idea that those rules are for their own good and what is supposedly "naturally" expected from them. To go against those rules, would mean to go against their nature. As we all know, nature cannot be defeated but only given a good fight. With this idea, many women are "kept in place."
Guilt comes along when we know something we did was wrong, and what better way to know that something is wrong than when almost everyone around us is saying so. Afterall, comparison is the best sense of reality that we have. That is why most rules and expectations are followed in accordance to cultural groups. Or at least most of the time. That is, until a rebel comes along- someone that dares question what is already established. Ultimately, it seems to be that rules and expectations must exist in order for things to run somehow.
So, in some way, guilt for women in the Hispanic community might work to some extent. It afterall, inhibits women from making quick and irrational decisions as those mentioned before. It at least serves as an obstacle to keep them from 'doing whatever they please.' The problem comes when that guilt takes complete control over their personal decisions, because let's face it: some expectations established out there, for Hispanic women or women anywhere, just aren't fair.
It is important for a woman to grow independent. Making decisions based off of a set of existing rules and expectations from a specific culture can't be determined right until those from a different culture are at least accounted for. How can we know that marrying at age 17 is probably not as adequate, when that is the only thing we know that exists? How can we know that moving in with a boyfriend at age 15 is not very favorable, when everyone around us is allowing us to?
This is why multiculturalism turns out to be a favorable thing for women world wide. It provides us with the opportunity to grasp a more realistic view on different subjects that influence our lives and those around us.
Giselle is the author of the website A -pretty- intelligent lady.
Website: www.apenelope.wordpress.com
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