Grandparents' Day: Brunching out with kids on the spectrum

Photo by: Beth Kelleher.  ASD child lunching with grandmother.

Dining out can be a challenge with any set of kids, but children on the spectrum face additional hurdles in restaurants. It can be difficult to find a place that is both generally kid-friendly in terms of menu selection, space and able to handle issues common for those with high sensitivity to noise, lights and a lot of people around.

Here's some tips for handling upcoming outings for Grandparents' Day which falls on September 13, 2009.

• Choose your restaurant carefully. Places that are small and cramped, with tables placed close together are a challenge for families in general, but can really up the ante for kids on the spectrum. Restaurants with open floor plans, large booths, well-spaced tables and outside spaces are ideal for dining out with ASD children.
• Restaurants with garden seating can be a real boon for parents with a lot of children at the table. The garden provides a place where kids can go burn off a little steam before their food arrives or if they've finished ahead of the adults at the table. A quiet corner table on a patio facing out towards the garden may also be soothing for an autistic child or provide a source for ready distractions in the form of flowers, trees, birds and so on for cases of sudden agitation.
• If possible, consider brunch on Saturday instead of Sunday, as Sundays tend to be very busy for brunch anyway. Restaurants that serve breakfast daily or brunch on both weekend days could be good options to consider instead of a traditional Sunday brunch.
• Call ahead to find out if your preferred restaurant has a menu that is suitable for your child's food tastes and to make sure that the kitchen will be able to accommodate requests for special plates. Many spectrum children have very particular food tastes including placement of food items on the plate. Finding out if the kitchen is able to help ahead of time can go a long way towards avoiding possible meltdowns during the meal. Another alternative could be bringing along a plate for your child from home. Check with the restaurant about bringing in outside food as well, or a willingness to serve on a divided dish that you provide to keep foods separate on the plate.
• Often, restaurants will offer the option to bring out the children's foods first. While this is can be very helpful, it can sometimes result in situation where all of the children at the table are finished before the adults' food has arrived. Ordering appetizers that are kid-friendly instead can help to provide a distraction during the early part of the meal and the main food preparation. Another idea for making ordering smoother, is to get the menu ahead of time, either by picking it up at the restaurant or downloading it from the internet, so that everyone is ready to order as soon as the waiter or waitress comes by your table.
• Bring some toys or non-noisemaking games that your child especially enjoys to help provide another source of distraction.
• Request seating on the outside of the seating area, in a corner, in a booth or in a quieter part of the dining room where you will be more able to control any problems that might come up during the meal.
• Prepare everyone who will be eating out with you for some of the behaviors to expect. Sometimes grandparents don't see their grandchildren often and may be surprised. Preparation in advance so that everyone understands what to do if agitation or a meltdown start to manifest can help ensure that your brunch day goes as smoothly as possible.
• Do a walkthrough with your child ahead of time, if possible at the restaurant to prepare him or her for the layout, or even show some pictures to set expectations and ease the transition. Review expected behaviors and set a reward for staying calm and using manners. On the day of brunch, make sure to give your child plenty of time to get ready to go and review what will happen before you leave to help with transition issues.

One of our favorite places for brunch is The Paddock, 629 W. Lancaster Ave in Wayne, on the Main Line in Chester County. Booths and corner tables with lots of space around them are available, the floor plan is open and quite large and divided up into separate areas within the restaurant around the central bar area. Brunch is a little pricey on Sunday ($19.95 for adults, $14.95 for children), but is all-you-can-eat, served buffet style with an omelet station and carving station. The restaurant is handicapped-accessible, parking is ample and the R5 Strafford Station is a 5 minute walk away. Call ahead 610.687.3533 to make a reservation or to make any special requests.

 If any readers have other tips and tricks for handling brunch out, favorites or recommendations for spectrum-friendly brunch restaurants for Grandparents' Day, please comment or send your suggests to beth.kelleher AT gmail. DOT com.