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Grandchildren The Funny Side

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As a grandfather, I enjoy my grandchildren. Most parents witness the wonderful moments that their children display. However, mothers and fathers are too busy with everyday life to remember those precious moments.

Therefore, I thought I needed to catalog some of those instants of amazing discovery. My grandchildren express these instances of breakthroughs as they report their findings. Their testimony invokes laughter and how truly innocent are my grandchildren.

The following are stories of our grandchildren understanding the world.

This moment occurred when our granddaughter Madison was six-years old. Madison could read quite well. On a sunny day, her mother and Madison visited a local Japanese garden complete with a pond. Madison’s mother told this story after they got home to Madison’s grandma. Apparently, Madison sat on a rock overlooking the fish filled pond. Madison suddenly slipped off the rock and fell into the fishpond, and Madison began to thrash and scream. Grandma only asked one thing, “Madison why were you afraid? You can swim.”

Madison then declared, “Yes I can swim, but the sign said, ‘No swimming.’”

This declaration of Madison’s ability to read is still a part of our family lore.

This next narrative was again was told to grandma and grandpa by Madison’s mother. However, a little background is necessary. Grandma and grandpa are half-Spanish and half- Portuguese. Therefore, we informed Madison that she was part Spanish and part Portuguese. Now back to the story. One day Madison’s mother heard Madison informing a playmates mother that she-Madison was part Chinese.

When Madison’s mom and Madison were alone her mother asked Madison, “What did you say to the mother of your friend?”

Madison again declared that she had informed the mother, “She was part Chinese!”

Then Madison’s mother informed Madison, “She was not part Chinese but part Portuguese.”

All of the family witnessed this next wondrous moment during a family gathering. Silas, who was four-years old at the time, began to shake his hips as if he was dancing to some rock and roll tone. However, there wasn’t any music playing. Silas’s aunt asked him, “What are you doing Silas?”

Silas proudly responded, “My peter is stuck to my leg, and I’m trying to shake it loose.”

The next story told by Silas’s mother. Silas was seven-years old at the time. Silas’s mother said, “Silas go now and take a shower and make sure you wash between your legs.” Therefore, Silas ran upstairs to carry out his mother’s wishes.

When Silas finished showering, he declared this to his mom. “Mom you know I have balls down there,” pointing to his groin.

His mother at this point did not know what to say, but said, “Okay…”

Silas then said, “I don’t know what they are, maybe brains or something.”

Now there are the stories of our granddaughter Teagan, told by her mother.

Teagan and her mom were at a store as usual Teagan is dressed in and outfit of her own choosing. Another shopper says to Teagan, “Wow! You're outfit is so pretty" Teagan smiles and responded back by saying, “Thank you, it would be much more pretty but my mom won't let me wear high heels!"

Teagan’s mom tells the following happening while Teagan and her mom were visiting Teagan’s grandmother in Florence, Alabama.

All of us: Teagan, Teagan’s grandmother, Teagan’s aunt and I went to the nail salon to get our toes done. While waiting for her turn Teagan starts talking to a gentleman waiting for his wife. Teagan is always striking up conversation with random people, and total strangers.
After talking with him for a minute or so she noticed his right front tooth was missing and proceeded to give him a dental hygiene lecture. "Excuse me… Excuse me… Did you know your tooth is missing?" Teagan asked.

The gentleman just looked at Teagan like a deer in the headlights of an approaching car. Then she proceeded to use her finger like a toothbrush and show him how to brush his teeth. Ending the demonstration with the following advice, “You really need to use your toothbrush more. The tooth fairy is going to be very upset that you don’t have sparkly teeth and will not leave you any money!"

These funny stories of our grandchildren remind us of how innocent they are, and how they view the world around them. Madison, Silas and Teagan are soooo… precious and her grandma and grandpa love them soooo… much. These stories of our grandchildren are remembered, and we recall these stories to each other, because we cherish these memories as the precious rare diamonds they are.

I know everyone who reads this offering of funny stories of our grandchildren, have stories of their own, and please share them with me, too.

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