Major League Baseball certainly had its screwball pitchers, like Christy Mathewson, Carl Hubbell and Jack Coombs. (I could not discover any notable, screwball pitchers who played for the Chicago Cubs or Chicago White Sox.) Golf can certainly have its screwballs (zany and eccentric people). Who are these players?
A screwball would play Columbus Golf Course (Columbus Golf Course is at 5701 W. Jackson Boulevard in Chicago, Ill.) dressed as Christopher Columbus. Of course, he/she would not arrive in the Niña, Pinta or Santa Maria. However, this zany person may claim that Queen Isabella sent him/her.
Another screwball could be a golfer with Robert as his first name. This fellow would play Robert Black Golf Course dressed in black. (Robert Black Golf Course is at 2045 W. Pratt Boulevard in Chicago, Ill.) Although, certainly not one of the Men in Black, this fellow may be zany enough to wear his black ensemble (consisting of hat, shirt, pants, socks, golf shoes, golf glove and golf bag) on Chicago’s, hottest days. Whew, just thinking about this guy makes me sweat.
Burnham Woods Golf Course is a Forest Preserve Golf course at 14201 S. Burnham Avenue in Burnham, Ill. A screwball male or female would play this course while eating several, burned, ham sandwiches. I wonder if such sandwiches supply the minimum, daily requirements for carbohydrates.
A screwball who decided to play Joe Louis “The Champ” Golf Course at 13100 S. Halsted Street in Chicago, Ill. would dress as Joe Louis. On hot, Chicago days, the boxing trunks would allow him to perspire, thus cooling his body. However, if he wore boxing gloves, it would be difficult for him to grip golf clubs.
If screwball golfers are reading this article, I have some advice. If you screw screws into golf balls, they will fly shorter distances and be very difficult to putt accurately. Using the electronic gadget that Rodney Dangerfield used in Caddyshack (1980) (At least three characters in this movie were screwballs.) will certainly mark you as a screwball, but I am fairly certain that this device does not conform to the USGA’s, golf club definition.
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