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Going Dutch on a First Date...and I'm not talking about The Netherlands.


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 Who pays on the first date?  Do you go Dutch?  This subject seems to come up over and over again when it comes to Internet dating and meeting for the first time. There are many different opinions from both men and women, but after much research, here are the conclusions I came up with and just so you know, most of everything I learned is coming from the man's point of view.

First impressions can sometimes mean everything. 

  • Men: On most first dates, as a general rule, you will be putting your best foot forward if you just pay for the date.  If you pay, to a woman and even to you, this is an indication of how you feel about her romantically.  If a guy lets a girl pay, she will most likely put you in the "friends" category forever, so if that's how you feel and she offers to pay, then go for it. Paying for things is not just the gentlemanly thing to do, it also indicates that you are responsible, steady and ready for a real relationship.  This, in turn, helps the woman know who you are as a man.  
  • Women: If the man is being a gentleman and does offer to buy you dinner, don't order the most expensive thing on the menu.  Be thoughtful and respectful because this will make an impression about who you are as a woman and you definitely don't want him to think you're a gold digger.  Always remember to say thank you and let him know how much you appreciate the date. 
  • For both men and women:   Remember, when it comes to meeting someone you may really like, you only have this one time to make a first impression and while some of these things may sound trivial, its the little things that speak volumes when it comes to first impressions, so what kind of impression do you want to make?  

Another good general rule is"Who asked who?" If you asked her out on the date, then you should pay. Its embarrassing to both parties if the guy portrays himself as a "cheapskate".  You don't have to go to the most expensive place in town, but if you can't afford to pay for even a drink or a dinner, then maybe you shouldn't be asking her out in the first place. I hear a lot of guys complain that they can't afford to pay for all of the dates they go on. If a guy is going on that many dates, maybe he needs to slow down and not go out with three or four different women a week. That probably could get expensive and are you really going for quality or quantity? 

While there are no set-in-stone rules when it comes "who pays?", each situation is individual.  Now I'm talking about a first date situation here, so after the first date, if a woman offers to pay, then let her, or she may offer to even cook you dinner herself, which would also be a nice gesture on her part and lets you know how she feels about you.

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If you are worried about money or are uncomfortable buying dinner for someone you don't really know yet, your best bet for a first date with someone you meet through the Internet would be to invite her out for just coffee or a drink.  If things don't work out, you're only out the cost of one drink and you can leave it at that.  If you hit it off,then maybe you'd like to take it further to dinner or appetizers. 

In Las Vegas, here are a few nice places where you might want to meet someone for that first Internet date:

On the Las Vegas strip there are a lot of really nice places with great happy hours such as Aurora at the Luxor where they have happy hour with 25% off drinks from 4 pm to 7 pm Sunday through Thursday.  Check them out at: .

If you like to go dancing check out Eyecandy at Mandalay Bay: There is no cover charge and you can sit or dance the night away without having to pay a VIP price. 

Off the strip, there are some really great places like Lucky Bar at Red Rock:

In the Henderson area, check out Daddy Mac's...a really nice place with live music and other entertainment.  Their happy hour is Monday through Friday from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. with half-off all drinks and appetizers and other specials:

The bottom line is there is a place affordable for every man to take a woman out to a nice place for at least one drink without breaking the bank.  So go out and have a great time and let us ladies know that gentlemen do still exist and that chivalry is definitely not dead. 

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 As always, please feel free to leave any comments or e-mail me with any questions at or check out my bio above and click on subscribe.  I would love to hear from you and am more than happy to help or hear your suggestions about other topics regarding Internet dating and on-line love.  Happy dating and have fun out there. 


  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    "she may offer to cook you dinner herself . . ."

    Oh please! Stop telling women to be subservient Susie Homemakers. If a man likes a woman, he should offer to cook her dinner himself. Women need to know if a man is domestically responsible and do not want to get involved with a slob.

  • David Barnett 3 years ago

    So, it's ok for him to cook but not her? Double standards typical in a feminist.

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