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Gnarboots SPEAKS, headlines Rockage 3.0

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There’s an animal lurking in the shadows of the San Jose music scene. It’s a dark, dingy, slinky, creepy style of folkish/punk rock, that’s as adept at making you shake your ass as it is inspiring a funny feeling in your tummy. Like the Jersey Devil or El Chupacabra, if you’ve ever stumbled into the presence of a Gnarboot, you have a feeling things just ain’t right. If you’ve ever cornered Gnarboots, they’ll rock your ass off until your grandchildren feel it.

They’re dangerous, seductive and aggressive, and that all adds up to trouble, And they’re about to unleash a new wave of aberrant awesomesauce all over your nearest and dearest.

Ick.

This ain’t no Gallagher show - there ain’t enough plastic sheeting in the world that’ll cover your ass.

Armed with a bottle of Jack and a potentially terminal sense of curiosity, I got a chance to interroga . . . er . . . interview this rare beast. God help us all:

EX:
Where were you on the night of January 29th?

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S.
Funny you should ask. That just so happens to be the night that we sat in a parked car in Alameda and put the final touches a little EP we are calling "Dark Moon." Why Dark Moon? You'll have to listen to the hidden track and find out. Why a parked car in Alameda? Because actual recording studios are too expensive. Are we kidding around about having recorded the entire EP in a parked car in Alameda? No we are not. It was Adam's "dad" mobile in fact. Wait Adam is a dad? Yes indeed. He has two children. One of them will be entering preschool soon. What about Aaron? Does he have kids? No in fact, he doesn't, but thanks for asking. Is it true that both Adam and Aaron have had vasectomies? Yes it is true! They are vasectomy buddies! That sounds gross. What's a vasectomy buddy? Uh, you don't want to know.

EX: What the Hell is a Gnarboot?

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S:
There are many ways we can answer this question. a.) We are Gnarboots b.) You are Gnarboots c.) We are all Gnarboots d.) Adam Davis and Aaron Carnes are Gnarboots e.) Allan Waffles Wan is Gnarboots f.) Gnarboots is a "band." g.) Gnarboots is what you do at Taco Bravo when no one is looking. h.) Allan Waffles Wan and the hot dog video he made and then deleted is Gnarboots i.) America is Gnarboots j.) Germany is Gnarboots k.) The Soviet Union is Gnarboots l.) We are sad

EX:
I . . . um . . . whatever. Sounds Kinda Shady. What's the payoff, then?

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S:
Well, Chris, if you listened to our first album, which is called "A.L.B.U.M." or you listened to either of our mixtapes "Sea-Dog, See Dog" or "Happy Birthday", or one of our many EPs, "Cats In Pajamas," "Maybe I'll Catch Fire" or "Tha Booty", you would realize that "Dark Moon" is entirely different than anything we've ever done before. It's dark. It's creepy. It's sort of goth. It's semi-electronic. It's reserved. It's not-particuarly-genre-specific. Check it out!

EX:
You really think you can get away with it?

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S:
Hmmm. Yes? No? Not really sure. I do know that there is a man who goes by the name of "Allan Waffles Wan" that made a video for us a year and a half ago for our song "Grown Ass Man" and it was about a hot dog that commits suicide. Then he just deleted it for reasons-we-will-never-understand. He got away with it. He deleted it. We ask him every day to re-upload the video to YouTube and every day he says no. He's a nice kid. He works at the Ramen Noode Store in Oakland, CA. We're not sure what he does there, but he does work there. He used to play bass in a band that we never got the chance to hear. I hope he starts another band and re-uploads the hot dog video soon.

EX:
When's the next job going down?

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S:
Funny you should ask. We are headlining a little something called Rockage (see the related articles section) which is a South Bay music and video game festival put on by San Jose's own Peter Pan, Eric Fanali. There will be music, retro video games and NERDS--a lot of nerds. Seriously, this is a nerd fest, and not those gorgeous people that wear glasses and an anime shirt and talk about how "nerdy" they are. These are REAL nerds, the kind that have a hard time communicating with other human beings. But hey, the nerds love us. Why? I have no idea! So come out to Rockage. If you are a nerd, you will feel right at home. If you aren't, come and check out the nerds in their natural habitat. We go on at 11:10pm on Saturday night on the main stage. We have a lot of shenanigans planned!

. . . And just like that, it slinked back into the darkness.

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For more information, tickets, topical treatments, (wha?) visit the Rockage 3.0 event page.

Gnarboots will be appearing live, tonight, on KFJC (89.7) from 10 - 11 p.m. - Then, again on University of Santa Clara radio (KSCU) this Saturday (Feb. 8th) from 3 - 5 p.m.

The Examiner review of "Dark Moon" forthcoming. Stay tuned.

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