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Giving and taking in a marriage

GQ Magazine recently featured an article where a couple talked about the way they bargain chores for sex. The husband would agree to do some of the household chores in exchange for intimate relations. To some this may seem like a win-win situation but the reality is that it takes away from a fundamental issue in marriage, giving and taking.

Marriage cannot be successful without some giving and taking. What that really means is a word some might cringe at…sacrifice.

In general people tend to be selfish. We want our needs met and we want them met first. We will only give or do when we have first been fulfilled. But that is a formula for disaster in a marriage.

Giving and taking encompasses the whole of a marriage, everything from the household chores to intimacy. But it also includes other important areas in a marriage as well. It includes how you handle your finances, raise your children, choose a career and the list could go on.

With Milwaukee marriages being challenged by hard economic times and other difficulties, it can seem that giving is just not possible. You may feel you already give enough, now it’s time for some taking.

But taking only satisfies self and even then, not for long. It causes an invisible wall to be built up that eventually will begin to take real form and shape. Left to its own devices eventually it will crumble.

No marriage can survive on just giving, nor can it survive on just taking. It takes doing both and it takes sacrifice.

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