Too often assumptions are made. Realistically, we can’t change people’s opinions. However, we give a person power when we feel as if we owe them an explanation. I’m choosing to write this article because it was personally time for me to debunk some inferences drawn about me.
I’m a recently 31 year old single mother to a going on 9 year old daughter. I’m a country girl born and raised. In my community less than 2 miles from the GA line you are irrelevant if you are not married and/or do not live with a man. A country woman is just the epitome of a “ride or die chick.” However, ironically I was one of the few who grew tired.
I did not marry my child’s father by choice. He proposed twice (once prior to childbirth) and he still believes that one day I will come to my senses. The thing that attracted me to my child’s father was his carefree spirit and confidence. I was the exact opposite in that I am a very systematic and planned person. Essentially, as a barely 20 year old at the time I felt as if it was my role to bring order to his life.
As a systematic person and a carefree person become lovers, someone is going to transform for better or for worse. In my case, it was for the worse. My child’s father was older and born in a totally different world from me. In Miami, running game and fast talk is just a way of life. My child’s father was the type of man that was like baby miss class today and chill with me. Additionally, he knew what to do sexually and mentally to have his way with women.
My child’s father is the type of man who wants to be the breadwinner. As I became pregnant with our daughter at 21 he would have had no problem with me quitting school, marrying him, and becoming a full time housewife. He wants a woman to help build his dream. My philosophy is that we both should build each other’s dream. I’m about creating an empire together, putting finances together, and building wealth.
As I stated earlier, I’m more so of a systematic and logical person. However, when I met my child’s father I still had my country girl ways. I was cooking, giving facials, helping my child’s father brainstorm on his HW, washing his locs, encouraging him daily etc. However, I got to a point where I was exhausted. As he was becoming successful the opposite was happening to me. The relationship was not reciprocal. For this reason, I have diamond rings that are beautiful that I can’t even put on. I take marriage very serious and I want to be able to proudly wear the ring of a supportive man who is a giver.
To my child’s father I have turned into a prude. He wants that ABC Liquors party girl back. He wants that down for whatever girl back. It is still in me to have a good time, but now I’m older and my philosophy is business first. My favorite quote is when you know better you do better. With childbirth came great maturation. I realized that I don’t want a life of struggle. It was nobody but God on my team to allow me to successfully obtain a Master’s degree with little help. I desire to have more children, but next time around it will be on my systematic terms. The next time around it will be a reciprocal relationship, finances will be secure, and we will work hard and play hard.