It happens a lot. You meet someone online or out there in the real world, and you start talking. Before you know it you've created a rapport between you. You talk more and become what feels like slightly more than acquaintances. Then, suddenly one of you decides that you don't want to pursue anything more. One of you is left feeling very let down. How do you get over the feeling that you are just wasting your time getting to know someone?
Getting to know someone involves more than just exchanging emails and chatting online. Opening up to another person tends to leave you vulnerable. Long discussions on the phone about very personal aspects of your life can open up a can of worms when it comes to relationships. You may feel like you are wasting your time, when in fact, you may be learning more about yourself with this process. You may learn that you are too trusting, which may leave you open to getting hurt. However, you don’t want to be so distrusting that you miss the opportunity to miss the one you’ve been waiting for all of your life.
Getting to know someone doesn’t have to be a waste of time if you follow these steps.
1. Ask questions. Stop being the person who spills their guts about their own life, yet never asks any questions. This may lead to future disappointments should you forget to ask questions that let you know whether you were compatible in the first place.
2. Be yourself. Never try to be someone that you are not, just to impress the person that you are “getting to know”. The truth will come out sooner or later, better to be honest in the beginning.
3. Expect the same honesty from the person you are trying to get to know. Sometimes having expectations can lead to disappointment; however, this expectation is one you should hold fast to.
4. It’s not all about sex. Get to know the person – not the body. Sometimes you may rush into something and when the spark dies down, you find a stranger beside you. Get to know each other first – then let the sparks fly.
If you follow these tips you may find that getting to know someone does not have to be a waste of time at all. It can be a wonderful experience for both of you to share. Though you may not end up in a relationship with this person, based on what you have shared, you may find that you end up with a very good friend. You have to wonder, was it really a waste of time?