Beware, citizens of Dallas, this Saturday a monster comes to terrorize us all! It’s ginormous and green, with about 200,000 heads and twice as many feet. No, it’s not the offspring of Godzilla and The Giant Centipede. It’s the Dallas St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Block Party, and it’s the biggest party in town. Just so you know, this monster smells like beer. It has hypnotic powers too. It will make you dye your poodle green. It will make you put on strange clothing, like shamrock-shaped sunglasses and t-shirts that say Kiss me, I’m Irish. And whether you want to or not, the beast will make you drink. By god, you will drink plenty.
This year, the parade is sponsored by the Dallas Mavericks. Like always, the traveling party kicks off on Greenville Avenue at Park Lane and travels south to SMU Boulevard. “Last year, there were about 125,000 people at the parade because the weather was chilly and overcast,” says Andrea Miles, general manager of Ozona Grill and Bar. “But this year the forecast looks great, so the we could see upwards of 200,000 people.” That’s good news for merchants along Greenville Avenue, who have been preparing for the parade for months. “We’re selling parking spots in front of Ozona starting at 4 a.m. that morning, and we open for business at 7 a.m.” For first-timers, please be advised that the parade area gets super crowded; it’s always best to get there on public transportation. Oh, and don’t forget to bring a lawn chair and sunscreen.
The parade promises a morning of fun for the whole family, but when it ends, it’s time to send the kiddies home. Because that’s when tens of thousands of 21 and uppers pack themselves into the Energy Square Parking Lot for the St Patrick’s Day Block Party featuring Ludacris. When the rapper gets the party going, you can expect loosely organized chaos for the rest of the afternoon. (Translation: long lines at the port-a-potties, some public vomiting, and guys running around singing, “Move bitch, get out the way.”)
Hey, we told you it was to biggest party in Dallas. We never said it was going to be pretty.
Event Info for Saturday March 15
Dallas St. Patrick’s Day Parade
Greenville Ave. between Park Lane and SMU Boulevard
Dallas, TX 75206
Parade starts at 11 a.m.
This is a free event
Dallas Observer St Patrick's Day Block Party
Energy Square Parking Lot
(Northwest Corner of Greenville Ave & University Blvd)
4849 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX 75206
Gates open at noon
There is an admission charge for this event
(Photo provided by Sarah Cox)
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