Gaming is not parenting

There are times in a life where society as a whole just simply disgusts you to the core. When people refuse to take responsibility for their actions. When the ability to make a decision is dwarfed by the greed to not be responsible. Whether it was rock-n-roll, Dungeons & Dragons or video games – it seems that people will accept that something else has caused their child to behave like a depraved caveman. It has reached a point that the people who are doing everything correctly are being over shadowed by the finger pointing crowd. Yet again, after such horrid events of yet another school shooting, we are experiencing yet another wave of video game phobia. I can not even fathom the level of disgust and bile that must boil up in the parents of the children that were slain. But I might be able to relate at the insult some of us feel when we see people not take responsibility for something as important as children.

I am a gamer. Nothing more complicated than those few words. I married a gamer. Our children are gaming children. Yet I feel 100% certain that my children will not be killing any of yours at any point in the unfolding of time and space. Why? Because whether it was my wife’s turn or mine – we only had one parent working. Our main job was the raising of our children. A 168 hour/week job. Until our children demonstrate the ability to make educated and mature decisions without any parental help, they are children and we will decide what they are allowed to do/play/watch/say. That is the job of a parent. That is the responsibility of the parent. That is the decisional onus you must accept before deciding on having a child. If you can not accept that responsibility then might we, the people who are raising well behaved children, suggest that you do not have any children of your own until you grow up some first?

Before finger pointing at a game let’s try and see how that game came into the possession of the child. How was it that the context of the game in the scope of reality not stressed? How was it when the child’s behavior showed signs of change that the last tangible influence was not removed? Why do some kids play a game that is simply not rated for them age wise? Do I need to continue?

I do not wish to make any light of the events in the past. School shootings are deplorable. But somewhere along the line a parent failed in their principle purpose: raising the child. I have heard all the reasoning why, but since my wife and I have disregarded financial stability for a positive influence then I am having a difficult time fathoming what the overwhelming reason is to let a video game babysit your kid. In point of fact we are insulted. If you are a parent in the same situation (kids play video games but you control what/when/where/why/how long/etc) and yet your children are model students with almost straight A’s (that one nagging B) then you should also be downright insulted as well. That these poor decisions are being lumped into one area: It wasn’t parenting it was a video game that caused it to happen. Or rock-n-roll. Or Dungeons & Dragons. Or whatever.
So no real point to this I am afraid. Just overwhelming disgust that there are people out there that are not dedicating their lives to the raising of a child, like your job as a parent is by the way. That these people have the audacity to be considered a parent on the same level as you are. Being a parent is an exhausting job where the pay sucks. But many of us real parents take great pride when we hear from doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. on how well behaved your child is. That is the pay we look for: Seeing them mature into responsible adults.

So whilst the phalanges are being pointed, let me ask a question or three. How did that game get purchased? Who allowed that game in the house? Who decided it was ok for the child to play? Who decided to not preview the game first? Who decided to not pay attention to your child’s behavior? Who made the decision to allow a child to make their own decision? If you have EVER raised a child then you know that until they pass puberty that many of them have a hard time distinguishing between reality and fantasy. So someone made a decision to allow an immature mind to make a mature decision.

So as a parent who is a gamer in a gamer family, I have just one phrase to all of you that chose money and irresponsible parenting techniques but have the effrontery to put yourself in the same mental boat as all of us parents who have decided that raising the child is our responsibility: You disgust me.

Take it for what it is worth but stop blaming something that was decided on by a supposedly mature adult. I just hope the parents who are in such horrid agony can find the voice to stop people from raising degenerates. Or I guess allowing everything else on the planet to raise their child but themselves.

It’s just a game people.

Until something more positive crosses my desk.

Game on!

Ratt

Follow on twitter: @daveginn1

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, Indianapolis Online Game Examiner

Father of two as well as a stay at home dad. Owned a built by hand gaming business (Globulator (c), Delphacube (c), Delphaqueue (c), Thaumaturgy 101 (c) and Salvage Lords (c) to name a few). Been an avid gamer since 1974, game designer and even started writing my own gaming programs (albeit...

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