Hey '90s kids, remember that commercial with the nice lady in the blue dress promoting Muzzy, the video language program? According to the UK's Metro on Thursday, a new version of the program lets even bastards learn how to speak like Khal Drogo in a Game of Thrones-inspired parody that "no one was asking for."
The joke video comes from Nacho Punch, which posts a variety of sketches, pranks, and other comedy clips to its YouTube channel. In it, we see some Westerosi children learning to speak useful Dothraki phrases like "I will dance in your blood" with great ease, thanks to cassette tapes, scrolls, and animated renderings of the fearsome khal (there's even poor Talisa getting stabbed in the belly).
In case you forgot or somehow never saw what the original looked like, refresh your memory here. You'll notice that it's a pretty good parody, too, as it mimics the original nearly shot-for-shot. Dothraki not your thing? You can also learn Valyrian, Hodor, and White Walker (those last two must be pretty easy).
Parody aside, there is in fact someone who knows all the ins and outs of speaking Dothraki. David J. Peterson, who holds a masters in linguistics, was hired by the producers of Game of Thrones to create the whole language and determine how existing words used in the books such as khal and khaleesi should be pronounced (we're all doing it wrong, by the way).
Though we haven't gotten to hear quite as much of it, Peterson also constructed the Valryian language used on the show. Remember when Daenerys says "dracarys," commanding one of her dragons to burn the man selling her the Unsullied to a crisp? That's an example of High Valyrian found in the books, which Peterson expanded on. He is also the founder of the Language Creation Society.
Game of Thrones premieres on HBO at 9 p.m. on April 6. It is known.