Due to dysfunction in Washington, DC, federal employees deemed "non-essential" are being furloughed. This means they're sent home without pay. Sounds like punishment, and it probably feels that way, too, and for what? Partisan temper tantrums. Well, the government shutdown is piling on the stress so with that in mind, Vibrators.com is offering 200 free vibrators a day to furloughed federal workers. Yes, FREE! This includes free shipping.
This is Vibrators.com's idea of offering a little stress relief and fun for those long hours of unemployment. It won't pay the bills. It won't put food on the table, but by golly, it will provide a good 5-15 minutes of pleasure; a little mental vacation from the frustration of being political pawns.
And it must be working because they "sold out" today! "Status: We have reached our limit for today, Monday, October 7th. Our warehouse has the capacity to send about 200 free vibrators a day without delaying our other customers' orders. Tomorrow is a new day though. Stop by around mid-day Tuesday and we will release another 200 vibrators for furloughed federal employees." (Vibrators.com)
The site figures they can give back to the federal employee community and help them find a little satisfaction. So how does it work? "Navigating the method of getting a free vibrator will be a little tricky. Put the vibe in your shopping cart (only 1 per customer). Choose the shipping method "Ground" (not Free Shipping, but Ground) and use the coupon code "Shutdown". The purchase will be completely free of charge."
They serve up a dire warning for greedy people who might come onto the site and try and order more than their freebie - As Willie Wonka says "You get nothing, sir! Nothing!"; so show a little consideration for others. Every non-federal employee understands what you guys are going through and we have your back. Vibrators.com has your front and undercarriage.
It may not be the perfect solution, but it's better than hitting the bottle, crying, and stock-piling weapons and peanut butter wearing only your underwear. Check out the website and order your free vibe.
Hey, maybe the site might consider mailing one to every member of the House of Representatives? Seems a good way to make them chill the heck out and get them back on track to doing their job so that others can get back to work. Ya think?
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