A Citizen Kane remake? Oh, Hollywood, you are incorrigible.
The answer to the headline's question, of course, is "No". No one in Hollywood is dumb enough to remake Citizen Kane (that we're aware of, but never say never). But that doesn't mean that we can't imagine what it would be like if someone did remake Citizen Kane, which is exactly what's going on in the trailer below. This faux trailer arrived just before the weekend, premiering at the 2010 Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival, and we can only assume that it won every award that the festival had to give: it's hilarious. It's also spot-on, bringing us a version of Citizen Kane that only the Hollywood of today would be able to conjure. Be aware that the video below has a couple not-safe-for-work moments in the naughty language department, and then click play to see the magic unfold, my gentle Examiner readers...
The video below was put together by Mark Potts and Singletree Productions for the 2010 Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival, which neither of us have ever heard of. That said, if the trailer below is any indication, I may need to buy tickets to next year's festival. What we have here is a faux-trailer announcing an impending remake of Citizen Kane, a remake that seems outside the realm of possibility even by Hollywood's standards. It's got some naughty language, so be warned if you're at work:
And that, my friends, is the funniest Citizen Kane-related thing that you're going to see all week. Don't say I never gave ya nothing, Comedy Examiner readers. Unfortunately, it's all too easy to imagine someone in Hollywood seeing the trailer above and getting some (cocaine-fueled) bad ideas about what film the guy who made Marmaduke oughtta make next. Keep in mind that-- within the past decade-- Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were seriously considering remaking Casablanca with themselves in the Bogart/Bergman roles. We can joke about this all we want, but the chances of something like this occurring are all too real. Let's just hope for the best.
Stay tuned for more nonsense as it becomes available, my precious snowflakes, plus much more from the Comedy Examiner's Office in the near future. In a few days, Examiner.com will have me operating a second, brand-new title: "Film Geek Examiner". You might wanna hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your email, free of charge, the moment they're published, just so you don't miss anything. As if that's not enough, we've also got some other recent Comedy Examiner articles for ya while you're here:
FUNNY VIDEO: IS THIS KOBE BRYANT RUBBING SNOT ON SOME REPORTER'S HEAD? (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we watch Kobe Bryant wipe snot onto a random reporter's head. Did I just spoil the headline's question there? Doesn't matter: watch this now.
MTV APOLOGIZES FOR THE 2010 MTV MOVIE AWARDS, BUT NOT FOR THE REASONS THEY SHOULD (WITH VIDEO)-- in which MTV decides they should apologize for all the damage their willy-nilly swearing caused the other night. Finally, we can all sleep again.
SLOW NEWS DAY PRESENTS: THE TOP TEN COMEDIES FROM THE PAST TEN YEARS-- in which the Comedy Examiner tells you what the ten best comedies from the last decade were. Finally, a list that doesn't have a "Twilight" movie on it anywhere.
COMEDY EXAMINER INTERVIEW (PART ONE): OLIVIA MUNN, THE LATEST ADDITION TO COMEDY CENTRAL'S "THE DAILY SHOW"-- in which the Comedy Examiner checks one more item off his bucket list.
(photos: top--allmovieposters.com, bottom--slashfilm.com, video via slashfilm.com)
Comments