Thanksgiving should be a day of gratitude, food, and fun. But the days before Thanksgiving are anything but. As we try to wrap up all of our workplace obligations, make plans for dinner or get ready to travel, it’s easy for the stress of the holidays to creep up on us and suck all of the enjoyment out of this time of year. These funny quotes about Thanksgiving are meant to put a smile on your face and help you forget about all of this stress—even if only for a few minutes.
1. “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
–Jon Stewart
2. “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
–Phyllis Diller
3. “A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”
–Kin Hubbard
4. “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
–Irv Kupcinet
5. “Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.”
–Richard Roeper
6. “I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.”
–Todd Barry
7. “Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
–Erma Bombeck
8. “It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.”
–Alistair Cooke
9. “On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment—halftime.”
–Unknown
10. “Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”
–Michael Dresser
11. “Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving.”
–Mike Connolly
12. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
–Kevin James
13. “Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.”
–P.J. O'Rourke
For more funny Thanksgiving quotes, log on to BrainyQuote.com and quotegarden.com.
Related Reading:
Talking turkey: 20 food quotes for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving quotes about gratitude
Praising God: 20 quotes for Thanksgiving
Good Grief! 15 quotes from 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving'
7 workplace lessons from 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving'
7 interpersonal relationship lessons from 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving'
How to make every day Thanksgiving in the workplace
More Quotations:
Is Sarah Palin a TWILF? Al Gore's Current TV coins a new term.
15 not-so-smooth quotes from criminals
Have a Bad Day Day: Quotes about insults
Celebrate 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon' with quotes about vampires
World Television Day: Quotes about the boob tube
Other Interesting Reading:
Job hunting and social networking: Why a job seeker should let it all hang out online
Roman Polanski supporters: Who cares about rape? He's great at his job!
E-mail etiquette lesson: Accountant fired for using all caps
How to use your job interviewer's hormones to your advantage
How Facebook can help job seekers find employment
Subscribe via RSS or e-mail.
Comments
I love quotes. I hope to return frequently (I've bookmarked you) to see what other people have to say! Thanks for thinking of doing this.
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!