"Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it." -George Carlin
"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." -Agatha Christie
"If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books." -Alan King
"Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one."- Glenn Beck
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times." - Rita Rudner
"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him." - Brendan Francis
"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch." - Cathy Carlyle
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles M. Schulz
"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him." - Cher
"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." - Christopher Marlowe
"It is impossible to love and be wise." - Francis Bacon
"Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw." - Fran Lebowitz
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox." - Woody Allen
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen
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